Cold Moon
by Kaye Thorn
Summary: Sequel to Star's End. Faith finds herself trapped on a distant planet, when rescue comes from an unexpected source. Struggling to acclimate to her changing environments, she stands against the waves of change coming from out and within. Complete.
1. Prologue & Ch 1: Light

**A/N: **Please note there will be a good deal of original material in here before we see canon Atlantis characters. You won't have to wait long, I promise :P Chapter One takes place around the end of season 1, where Atlantis fakes a self destruct.

* * *

"_The calm cold moon—ascends, the silver forms  
Of years and ages past around me float."_  
-Johann Wolfgang von Goeth

* * *

**Prologue**

_Homar, April 4, 2011_

The waves shimmered blue in the fading sunlight, echoing their roar as they rolled towards shore. The sand slushed over her feet with each step, her stride unsure and halting. She felt a strong arm around her waist and she looked up, a long forgotten face disintegrating into blackness. She blinked and tossed onto her side, a sudden yell causing her to sit up straight.

"Iena."

She fumbled for her dress, sweat causing it to cling to her skin. The voice yelled once more when she reached the back door, causing her to throw it open hurriedly. Before her stood three men, a litter balanced between two of them. The oldest stepped forward, his light blue eyes glinting.

"What nonsense brings you to my door at this hour, Boen? My son is asleep."

"Forgive me, but this cannot wait," said the man, slowly lifting the tarp covering the litter. An unconscious man lay there, his clothing bloody and torn. Sighing, she ushered them into the procedure room, fumbling for the lantern.

"What happened?"

"Arnas has lost his mind. He has been hunting this man until he was half dead in the forest. The Zoion bit him."

Boen grabbed the lantern, lighting it quickly. He handed it to her, allowing her to finally see the man's face. It was scratched and his tousled hair was caked with mud and blood. A stab of fear went through her and she balked, nearly dropping the lantern.

"Take him away. Get out of my house!"

Boen caught her by the wrists and said grimly, "You know I can't do that."

"I can't help him," she said, desperation in her voice.

_It wasn't possible._

"Sláne is gone. You are the only one left who can."

"Why? Why do you insist?"

The man raised his voice, tightening his grasp. "Because this man came through the Ring."

* * *

**Chapter One: Light**

"_Faith is the strength by which a shattered  
world shall emerge into the light._"  
-Helen Keller

_Thalla, Asta. March 17, 2005._

The bitter taste of iron and salt flooded her mouth while she struggled to breath in the darkness. The weight and pressure bogging down on her body suddenly disappeared in blinding white light. A single hand appeared before her and she struggled towards it, sputtering cries of help through the blood. Nothingness filled her mind, the shadows of faces passing through the light enveloping her.

"Áveo, dormáta," they said softly.

The light faded into grey, a calmness spreading through her. Abruptly it stopped, a panoply of colors and sound inundating her. Tingling overwhelmed her as she peered around dazedly, taking in her surroundings. She lay on a pallet of cloth and hay, in a white stone walled room. Sunlight streamed through long glassless windows, which were hedged outside by flowers and tall grass.

A moan filled the room, resonating off the walls. "Melody. Mel—ody."

She rolled over troubledly, encumbered by a sling across her arm. She nearly screamed. A familiar figure lay on an identical pallet, his body covered in bloody bandages and half torn clothes.

"Oliver," she whispered.

His head lolled in her direction, his eyes wide and riddled with pain. "Faith," he gurgled. "Melody, where?"

Dizziness overwhelmed her as she edged towards him, sliding cross the floor on her good arm. The single door to the room creaked open, a tall blonde woman entering with a tray and bucket.

"Who are you?" yelled Faith hoarsely.

The woman placed the tray down and sat beside them, examining Corporal Damon. She shook her head before turning to Faith.

"Leitha."

"Where are we?"

"That is for me to know."

"Why are we here?" Memories of gun shots and the scared faces of her team mates came flooding back.

"You are safe."

"How did I get here? Why did you—I need to get him home, he's dying!" said Faith fervently, grasping Damon's jacket.

"We have done for him all that can be expected. The rest is up to the Ancestors."

She slammed her fist on the floor. "The Ancestors aren't going to do anything, just like you're not doing anything. He needs doctors and sterile surgery."

"Our healers have seen him. Several of his bones are crushed, he is hemorrhaging and nothing will stop it."

"Please let us through the Stargate, I have to get him home."

"Do not try to run. It will only complicate your situation," said Leitha simply, lowering her head. She began muttering a small prayer in Ancient, her eyes fixed on Damon.

Faith propped herself next to the solider, her eyes locked on his and her hand on his head. His gaze grew ever vacant and distant, and he continued muttering his wife's name. After several minutes his eyes grew glassy and his face relaxed, his labored breath stopping. A strangled sob erupted in her chest and she lowered her palm across Oliver's face, closing his eyes shut. Leitha stood up from the body and left the room, returning with a stocky man.

"Kasen," murmured Leitha. "Bury him in the garden."

Silently Faith followed them outside and collapsed on the grass, her legs still weak and painful. They carried him to a shallow wide hole and lowered him in, covering him with dirt and stone. Numb, she scratched a small rock against a flat one, inscribing a cross and his name upon it. She stumbled to the head of the pile, placing it next to a small wreath of plants.

"Goodbye my friend."

.-.-.-.

The shadows grew along the high stone fence surrounding the garden. Damon's grave stood in stark contrast to the green overgrowth, which contained several other unmarked mounds. Faith spent the day sitting on the deep sills of the room she had woken up in, her mind and body continuing to hurt. She ignored Leitha's attempts at distraction and Kasen's relentless monitoring of the cottage grounds. As the sun lowered behind the trees, Leitha returned once more with a stranger at her side. The woman shook Faith from her trance.

"Miss."

Scowling, Faith pulled away. "That's Dr. Stuart if you please."

"You are not of the healing profession," said Leitha flatly.

"The academic kind," said another voice.

Faith's head shot up, and she swung towards Leitha, finding a tall middle aged man next to her. His grey streaked hair and light blue eyes gave him a harmless and wise appearance. He raised a hand in greeting, but she stared at him scrutinizingly.

"Who are you?" she said blankly.

"Boen Talar," he answered. "And you I presume are Dr. Faith Stuart of Atlantis." She raised an eyebrow, but remained silent. "You are now on a planet called Asta."

She eyed his stained and disorderly clothes, noticing several strange markings in Ancient on his uniform. "If that is so, how did I get here from Pareil? Is this the planet which was at war with them?"

"No," said Boen. "Asta is ever at odds with her neighbor, but we do not attack without provocation. I am not a soldier, but rather a protector of Asta and her people."

Leitha coughed loudly. "Should you be telling her this sir?"

He commanded the woman from the room, and continued. "I am an Alier, a member of the Hereis, the guardians of Asta's Ancestral Ring and the planet's safety. We were present on Pareil in peaceful negotiations when you arrived, disrupting it. We demanded equal access to you once we learned your planet of origin. However the Pareans openly attacked both your group and mine. Your remaining comrades barely managed to escape. Same for us. We took you and the soldier with us. If we had not, you would be dead by now, or clad in irons."

"Perhaps I ought to thank you for taking us as prisoner instead?" said Faith bitterly. "You denied freedom and proper medical treatment to a hero. What kind of people do you hold yourselves to be?"

"We prolonged your lives, even if by a day," said Boen sharply. "We paid for your rescue with the lives of our people too. The Pareans passed through the Ring with us and slaughtered several families in Thalla before we stopped them. Your people left you for dead; even they could not have saved your friend."

Faith rose to her feet and said, "We have more advanced technology."

"But you are not gods, nor the Ancestors themselves. Only they could've saved him." He lowered his voice slowly. "I am sorry for your loss, we will try to accommodate you within reason."

"Then allow me passage through the Stargate."

He bowed his head. "That neither I or anyone else can allow. The Ring is sacred and very powerful. We do not allow anyone but Alieri through. And if you value your life, do not speak of its existence to any outside of my kind, at the cost of your life." He motioned to the tray of uneaten food by her pallet. "You are still wounded and in pain. Your friend's has ended, he is at peace. Do not prolong your own agony, it will not help him."

The door shut as he left, leaving Faith to sob on the windowsill.

_Thalla, Asta. March 27._

"Dr. Stuart."

Faith's eyes snapped open at feeling the hand on her shoulder, and sat up quickly. She made out Leitha's face in the faded pink light of dawn.

"What?"

"We must prepare you," said the woman. She handed her a grey bundle, Faith's Atlantis uniform.

"Why?"

"I cannot say, only put these on."

Curious, Faith slid into the familiar uniform, which had been mended and laundered, but retained bloody stains. It felt oddly tight compared to the flowy and loose clothing she'd been given by the Astaians. As she exited the bedroom, Kasen and another man seized her by the shoulders.

"Do not scream, we will not harm you."

They bound her wrists, covered her eyes, and loaded her into the back of what seemed to be a wagon. Anxiety and suspicion gnawed at her belly, growing when they finally stopped. The familiar voice of Boen greeted her, but he did not remove the bindings. They entered into a building, the sound of their footsteps echoing before they stopped.

"We are before the inner circle of the Hereis. They are here to question you. Do not be afraid, do not show fear. I will remain by your side," whispered Boen.

Faith nodded. "You could've just asked me here."

He moved the cloth, the light blinding her momentarily. She was in the exact center of a wide circular chamber, its architecture and design a mix of ancient and new. At the forefront, a half arcing table stood with nine chairs, the wall behind it emblazoned with a mix of colorful old tapestries. Occupying the furniture were three women and six men, ranging from mid twenties to elderly in appearance. Faith swallowed her anxiety into the pit of her stomach and stared at them stoically.

The eldest female spoke first. "We are the Hereis Council of Asta. We have brought you here to inquire about you, to see whether you pose a threat. State your name."

"Dr. Faith Mercia Stuart, scientist and explorer at your service."

"Why are you here?"

"I was brought here against my will and without my knowledge."

"Then where are you from?"

"Atlantis," said Faith unsurely.

"The city of the Ancestors? But you are merely human," said the council woman.

"Yes. My homeworld is a planet called Earth, in the Milky Way galaxy. We rediscovered Atlantis a year ago, after the Ancients abandoned it and returned home to our world ten thousand years ago."

"Are you aware the Ancient city has fallen?"

"What? No that cannot be!" said Faith, her voice rising.

"It fell after battle with the Wraith, it was annihilated."

_Larson, Andrew, Connie._

Faith's hands began to shake, and she swallowed hard. Boen placed a hand on her shoulder, gripping it tightly.

"Due to this situation, we have denied your request to leave Asta, and have forthwith buried the Ring."

"You cannot do this," said Faith vehemently. "My people have done plenty for your galaxy."

Most of the council took turns arguing with her, learning more about Atlantis' situation and the events that had transpired, including their waking the Wraith.

"I think we have enough," said the eldest man. He looked across the table at every member, and five of the nine raised their hands. "Very well. Dr. Faith Stuart, we sentence you to death."

"I thought you were here to just question me," she blurted out. "What in God's name would lead to this?"

"Your people's grave misuse of the gifts the Ancestors left us, and disrespect for human life has—"

"Do you not know what we have given up by coming to Pegasus, to dying in vain with Atlantis?"

"Yes and out of mercy, you shall meet a better death than your people."

"Why would you save my life, only to end it now?"

"Such are things and the nature of what has transpired. We did not authorize the action which brought you here."

Boen stepped forward, his hands held outward. "Honored fellows, I have spoken much with this woman the past week, and read the notes she keeps on other civilizations. Rarely have I seen such insight and respect as this woman shows towards others. Her heart was shattered over the death of a single team mate, imagine the pain she is in from learning the end of all she knew. I ask you to look at a woman in the prime of life and see what she may yet contribute to our cause and that of humanity."

There was a hush amongst the council and they looked towards each other, as if reading one another's thoughts. A single man rose from his chair and walked towards her, their faces locked upon the other. Out of the nine, he had not spoken or voted through the entire interrogation. His grey eyes delved into hers, as if seeing straight into her mind. He loosened the bindings on her wrists and took her palms, still gazing at her. After a few minutes he stroked her forehead and returned to his chair.

"She shall not die."

The room exploded in a sea of voices, every member of the Hereis shouting at him. The eldest councilman held up his hand, silencing the others.

"Sláne, is this what you want? Do you understand the ramifications you may suffer?"

The man nodded his brown haired head. "I am sure. I will vouch for her life and all will abide by my decision. Remember I put you in that place of honor."

Grimacing, the older man motioned to Boen, shooing them from the room over their continued arguing. Relief and fear flooded Faith as she allowed Boen to seat her on a long wooden bench.

"What just happened?"

Boen smirked at her. "The old fool tried to make an example out of you and Sláne saved your life. You are bonded to him now."

"Like a slave?" she said in shock.

"No, as his charge. Your actions will reflect on him now, and he is made vulnerable. For some reason he has done you great justice."

After fifteen minutes, the chamber opened, her rescuer exiting into the hall. He strode to them, a warm smile on his face.

"It is settled, you are free to come with me," he said, stopping in his tracks. "Why do you frown?"

"Why—why did you do this? What do you expect from me?"

"I assure you Dr. Stuart, I want nothing more than gratitude. I kept your life for you, and all I expect is for you to one day trust me. I will never take what is yours to give, and I vow I will care for you as I do my own. You are coming with me to Homar." He loosened the collar of the robes he wore, and strutted further down the hall. "I will meet you back at the cottage"

She flexed her wrists and met Boen's eyes troubledly. He nodded assuringly. "Do not be afraid. Sláne Rodaen is a good man. His intelligence, skills, and wealth surpass that of any man I know. He is generous to a fault and once saved my life. You will come to know him as I do."

They returned via wagon to the cottage, where Sláne was waiting for them. He led them to the bedroom, where Faith and Damon's belongings were now piled. Eagerly she dug into the packs and looked up at him puzzledly.

"Our weapons, scanner, and ZPM are missing. What did you do with them?"

"The weapons were confiscated and buried, you will not need them. The others I presume were lost in the skirmish on Pareil."

She narrowed her eyes and remained silent, repacking her books, notes and equipment. She looked forlornly at the garden as they left, a single dog tag swinging around her neck.

.-.-.-.

The second day of travel ended their rendezvous through extensive woods, the terrain becoming hilly and rural. Faith grew used to the bouncing wagon, the motion often lulling her to sleep. She did not speak to Sláne unless he asked her questions, but he usually left her alone. As it bumped over a particularly bad spot in the road, Faith awoke, a book slipping from her fingers.

Sláne tapped the driver's seat hard. "Olen Talar, watch where you're going or your father will know why I shall no longer hire you."

"Sorry sir."

Sláne picked up the dropped novel and studied it before handing it back to Faith. "Who is Huckleberry Finn?"

"A very naughty boy," she said.

"I would keep that in the house once we reach Homar," said Sláne. "It will be a dead giveaway you're not from here."

"Gee and I thought it'd be the accent," she replied.

"That is why you are going to be from Trahi, north of the mountains. Only four people have ever survived the trip from there. The mainland is huge, but most of its uninhabitable or unreachable."

"And I'm such a good actress that everyone will believe me instantly," said Faith wryly.

He raised an eyebrow. "Everyone will take my word for it."

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why does everyone hold you on a pedestal?"

"I'm not the best one to answer that," he said quietly.

Olen suddenly pointed at the road ahead. The houses thickened in a swarm at the end, varying from white stone to wood buildings.

"Homar."

The dirt road became paved and they drove into the heart of the small town, the wagon stopping in the main square.

"We need to acquire supplies before we hit the house," said Sláne, jumping down.

"What am I, chopped liver?" said Faith, her feet dangling from the back.

Sláne smirked and grabbed her by the waist, lowering her to the ground. Unsteadily she limped along with him, hiding her face behind his shoulder. No one paid her much attention, but were very talkative with her escort.

When they were finished, Sláne called to Olen. "We'll walk the rest of the way."

"Are you nuts?"

"It isn't far," he said, laughing.

At the edge of the square, a series of white columns stood at the base of broken stairs, where a familiar sight stood standing atop it, an Ancient control chair.

Mesmerized, Faith pointed. "You have a lot of these don't you in this solar system."

"Go up and sit in it." Ignoring him, she stumbled up the steps and quickly plopped down. "Put your—"

She placed her hands on the webby interface and was reclined backwards, a hologram flickering to life above her head. A series of small galaxies appeared, two popping over the others. The image died after three seconds, Faith pushed back forward.

Sláne stared at her astonishment. "No one has done that in twenty years. You carry the inheritance gene."

She shrugged and pulled a pocket knife out of her clothes, kneeling down next to the platform. She pressed upon it, feeling the ZPM panel.

"Sweet."

Sláne bounded up the steps and forcibly towed her away. "Do not toy with that, it is sacred to these people."

"It's a machine," she said blankly. A dozen bystanders were looking at them and whispering, making her paranoid. "Why are they all doing that?"

He pulled her close. "That chair has not been activated in twenty years, since Olen Talar touched it. Only occurrences of the inheritance gene cause this to turn on."

"I know about the ATA gene, my brother has it too. We were using it back on—"

"Faith, only members of the Hereis possess it. This is the only reason people are brought in."

"I'm starting to not have such a favorable opinion of your people," she said, pulling her arm from him and walking away down the road.

.-.-.-.

The sky was alight in a dust of blue, the heavens above shining brightly. Faith leaned against the porch column, gazing up enraptured. The hum of nights insects filled her ears, and the thickness of night pushed against her breath. She stood watching the heavens wheel past, wondering what awaited her in the future, and at stars end.


	2. Ch 2: Roots

**Chapter Two: Roots**

"_People without the knowledge of their past history,  
origin and culture is like a tree without roots."  
_-Marcus Garvey

"_All things must come to the soul from its roots,  
from where it is planted."_  
-Saint Teresa of Avila

_The Forgotten Hills, Asta. May 5._

The grass shone emerald under the sunlight, the field divided by a shimmering stream. It rose in hills through the valley, mountains hedging it in the near distance. Barks rent the empty air, deafening over the lowing calls of sheep. Two dogs wove through the dozens of animals and returned to the shepherds at their call, panting and alert. The shepherd boys finished counting and triumphantly strode towards the awaiting pair.

"One hundred thirty percent yield," said the youngest, handing Sláne a sheaf of paper.

He studied it and gave it to Faith, pointing out the figures. "We lost some to birthing and abandonment."

Faith nodded and covered a yawn. "It's not you, I'm still out of it after yesterday's hike up here."

"We'll return to the cabin later, I've put you through more difficult tasks Fae."

"Nope. The mucking, riding, and cleaning chores can't compare. Only the healing studying makes my head more tired."

"I have something that will wake you up," he said quietly, squeezing her hand.

She followed him northward into the hills and along the valley edge, where the open plains turned into forest. They passed along the edge of the stream, until they reached a toppled obelisk, its edges covered with weather beaten inscriptions. Eagerly Faith dropped her backpack to the ground, pulling out her notebook and pen.

Sláne shook his head. "Do you take that everywhere?"

"I'm going to write down everything for documentation when I get off this planet."

"You believe Atlantians will find you without communications, transport or Stargate?"

"Hope is the only thing I have left."

"You have me," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

She glanced at him and rose to her feet, walking around the obelisk. "I'm afraid it's nothing compared to what I lost."

She stepped out of view, brushing the ruin off carefully and squinting. "This'll take forever to read. Was there a main ruin?"

"Yes the city's name was Engel, one of the most magnificent places you'd ever see. Their technology rivaled other great worlds like them, descended from Ancient stock. Three thousand years ago, a people called the Acheron settled here, to protect the native population and hide from the Wraith. They were successful until their sister planet grew tired and hungry, expanding their population and power onto other planets. The two began decades of civil war between themselves and that with the Wraith. When the Wraith assembled an armada to wipe them out, it is said they all ascended, destroying the hives, orphaning their children and natives. Their legacy has passed down through the inheritance gene. We continue their work to protect Asta."

"Very noble of you," she said.

"Yet you do not think yourself trapped, and find it repulsive it should be with me?"

She froze and turned to him, her eyes distant and wet. "Not at all."

Sláne stepped towards her, brushing the hair from her face. "You have done all that I ask, what may I do for you?"

"Allow me to remain here if this city did exist. Perhaps I can—"

He shook his head. "No such an endeavor is impossible. However I will grant you one weekend per month up here with our farm master Jayr Girrvyn."

"Jayr is about 100!"

"75."

They stared at each other until Faith dropped her shoulders. "Very well."

_The Forgotten Hills, Asta. October 12_

"Madam, I do not see why we have returned here," said Jayr raspily.

Faith paced back and forth in front of the towering stone, peering down at the single fragment she'd uncovered. The white keystone sat amongst the tumbled rock, inscribed with shattered figures.

"Jayr," she snapped. "If you did more here than just spy on me for Sláne, I might have unburied the main gate by now."

"Madam there is nothing there."

She threw her hands frustratedly in the air. "No, something is here. This stone is too uniform. But why it's collapsed like this is odd."

They spent several hours in the sun, Faith digging persistently at the pile of rocks blocking the gateway, to no avail. She collapsed next to Jayr, who sat watching from the shade of the trees.

"This isn't working," she admitted dismally. "There must be layers of rock blocking it. But there must be another way past. The mountain face heads towards the river, perhaps there is a means up there."

"If you do not mind, I will remain here. I am not feeling well."

She went northwest along the river until the sun was low in the sky, but she found nothing indicating what she sought for. It took her nearly two hours to return to the supposed gate where she left Jayr, but found no sign of him.

"Good for nothing," she said frustratedly. "I'll make sure Sláne hears about this."

She wandered back through the woods along the stream, the way becoming harder to see in the dimming light. When she had just passed the outlying ruin, she heard a faint voice crying for help. She stumbled through the darkness, finding the farm master lying half alive, clutching his chest. Anxiously she checked him over, her mind frantic. She whispered encouragement to him and sped off towards the Forgotten Hills, running to reach the shepherds as fast as possible.

_Homar, Asta. October 15._

The front door of the building slammed open, an irate Faith flying out of the entryway. She barreled through the rain, down the main road, and into the fields, mud splattering her with every step. She ignored the distant voice carried by the wind, her strained breathing filling her ears.

"Faith."

She whipped around, finding Sláne running in her direction. He caught her by the wrists as she sought to run again, and was nearly wrenched off the ground.

"No," she shouted. "They interrogated me for over a day and then you walk in and don't support me. You think I murdered Jayr."

"Did you?"

"No! How can you even ask that?"

"I believe you then," he said calmly.

"Liar," she growled. "They said you only worsened my case by making it look like I was doing something suspicious in the Hills."

"I did not betray your research."

Her hands shook as she struggled to free herself, but he brought her closer. "I convinced them you're innocent, that Jayr died of a heart attack as you said."

"Why should I believe you?"

His grey eyes glinted sharply. "Because I love you."

The anger inside her wilted into submission. "What?"

They stood silent and staring at each other, the shield she had built against him slowly softening. The clear adoration in his eyes reached towards her, bleeding through the protective space around her. Part of her welcomed it, feeling further protected. The other half shirked and fought like a stallion against a bit, feeling it like a harness descending upon her. She fought against the influence, her heart thudding madly. She did care for him and felt close to him, but she resisted and hated the idea of ever loving someone again. All that she had was lost.

_You could have it again. _

She regained her conscious thoughts, realizing against all volition she was reaching for him. He closed the space between them and their lips met, hope and life surging anew into her.

_Verel, Asta. November 14._

The wagonload of goods passed them by, wheeled onwards to the center of the town by Sláne's hired farmhand. The mix of music and voices reached them from beyond the walls, beckoning invitingly. Faith and Sláne stood alongside the road watching a variety of people and wagons pass in or out. She tugged encouragingly at his sleeve, but he smiled and shook his head.

"We will not partake in the annual market this time," he said softly, taking her hand.

She eyed him quizzically, until he suddenly pulled her away from the roadside, towards the fields nearby. They walked for fifteen minutes, stopping once they had reached a flat plain filled with wild plants. He led her beside a fallen tree and sat her down, facing her silently. The cooled field air swept against their backs, rustling their clothes and sending a chill down Faith's spine.

"Why have you brought me here?"

He leaned and kissed her as he had many times the past month, his eyes roving hers before he spoke. "Faith, have I treated you fairly and with respect?"

"Of course," she answered, raising an eyebrow. "More than someone in my position could ask for."

"My feelings have not changed. I would die if something were to happen because I didn't do enough for you—"

"Sláne, what is this all about? What's going on?"

His legs spasmed and he stood up, not looking at her. "There has been a recent change in leadership. Lichas has been made head of the Council. He has been overly ambitious for the position since our leader started dying."

"Okay?" she said uncertainly. "I know you don't like him."

"And he does not like me either. He intends to lead the Aleri around me, target me." Sláne's brow furrowed and paced back and forth. "Lichas has learned of your 'research' of Engel and Jayr's death. He has unnerved half the Council with the news, and has acted against me. It's my fault; I raved about you at our gatherings."

"I don't understand." Faith caught him by the palm, making him face her. "Tell me."

"The messenger that arrived four days ago did not carry news of this market. It carried orders for me to deliver you to Thalla for trial and likely execution."

"What!"

He exhaled deeply several times and clutched at her hand possessively. "I swore to protect you long ago, and I will not let it happen. Do you trust me Faith?"

"Yes," she said weakly.

"There is only one possible way to save both of us—"

"If we unbury the Gate, we can go far away where they'll never find us," she replied, the urgency rising in her voice. "Maybe I could even find some way to take you with me to Earth."

Sláne brushed her forehead and kissed it gently. "I have told you over and over again, there is no way to keep Asta safe by doing that. The Ring is gone for good and won't be unburied until the Ancestors come to save us from the Wraith."

"Then what can we do?"

He locked gaze with her and lowered himself onto both knees, still gripping her tightly. "In spite of it, you are free to do as you will. I will not force anything on you. I offer you freedom, safety, and my love. Will you consent to be my wife?"

The breath caught in her throat, choking her into silence. She stared at his kind and handsome face, anxiety bubbling in her blood. Her body quivered in fear, weakness growing in her limbs. She did not know if she loved him, but the urge to protect him and herself was overwhelming.

"Would you be putting yourself more at risk by doing this?"

"Yes," he said. "But you would become one of us, and they could not touch you."

A hollow pain intermixed with a spurt of happiness flooded through her, and she nodded. "I consent."

Quickly he pulled a silver band from his pocket and placed it over her ring finger. Two yellow stones glistened in the sunlight, the metal band cold against her skin.

.-.-.-.

"Be calm, let me speak for you," whispered Sláne.

The long wooden doors swung open to admit them, the wide circular Council chamber opening before them. He gripped her hand tightly as the other Aleri studied them, several clearly shocked at his entrance below.

"Why do you not occupy your chair?" they asked.

"Read the charges if you will," he answered sternly.

The eldest woman read a list of several items on the paper in front of her, before turning to Lichas. "You may speak."

A tall blonde man with steely eyes rose from his chair, his expression fierce and smug. He did not appear much older than Sláne, but the difference in their countenance and bearing was drastically different. Despite the space between them, she could feel the tension and electricity flying between him and her fiancé.

"I charge that this woman, Dr. Faith Stuart, wreaks havoc amongst us, because she is not one of us. She has defiled our heritage and even our people with her presence and activities." He pointed a scarred hand at them. "Sláne Rodaen, why do you stand there with this filth? Do you wish to meet her doom? Death!"

"She bears the Inheritance gene, honorable Lichas. Her blood makes yours appear muddled and weak in comparison."

Lichas sneered. "Curses on you for berating my ancestors."

"How dare you target this woman as a result of your hatred towards me."

An older Aleri woman slammed her fist onto the table. "Enough! What do you answer Dr. Stuart?"

"'She shall not die,'" said Faith quietly.

"His words, not mine," replied Lichas.

"Yet they are yours," Sláne said forcefully. "Never have I seen such vile rebellion against tradition and honor. I am ashamed to bear my face before such people who would listen to this fool Lichas."

"You bastard."

Sláne grabbed Faith's hand, causing her sleeve to fall back and reveal the bright silver ring. "I am to take this woman as my wife. If any of you gainsay it, I dare you to be cast from the high seats on which you sit!"

The chamber exploded in an uproar of voices and clattering, as the other Aleri jumped from their seats or began to shout. The doors nearby sprang open, a dozen other people breaking into the room with their weapons drawn. Among them was Boen Talar, who saw the ring and winked.

The eldest woman's voice broke through the commotion, clear and commanding. "This will be completed soon as necessary dear Sláne, or you will be charged alongside her."

He bowed to them and drew an arm around Faith's waist. "We wed at the tide of Novus, in one month."

Faith's eyes opened wide and he ushered her from the chamber.

_Homar, Asta. February 1, 2006._

The acrid taste of bile and acid filled her mouth, despite the repeated spitting she had done behind the outhouse. Her legs shaking and head spinning, she wobbled across the frosted lawn and into the house. She hesitated outside her bedroom door, her hands weakly fumbling with the knob. She slipped under the covers, shuddering in relief as she felt the warm mass beside her. It shifted against her and enveloped an arm across her chest, Sláne pulling her close. Slowly his hand dropped to her belly, stroking the cold skin gently. She allowed it to remain there, something she had not done since the union ceremony two months ago.

"You became sick again?"

"Yes," she murmured, closing her eyes. "It's nothing."

"Iena—"

"Faith."

"Not the name you took when we wed," he whispered. "I believe it is time you admitted you carry our child."

Her blood ran cold and she rolled onto her side, watching him in the darkness. "After one night of drunk sex? I don't believe so."

Sláne's hand halted and he lowered his voice. "Is that all it was to you?"

"I don't know."

"By mid-Verna the child will begin to show. I plan on sending you to the Hills with Eranthe Laon, Jayr Girvyn's granddaughter. You will be safer there until the child is born."

She remained silent for several minutes before speaking. "I will not sneak off like some shameful beast. And you are partially responsible for this child, abandoning it in the wilderness will not make it go away."

"I will remind you of the same," said Sláne. "Do not do anything foolish while you are gone from my side."

_The Forgotten Hills, Asta. September 9._

The voices echoed off the stone and steel walls around them, the Acheron ruins standing imposing and tall against the cloudless sky above. Faith waddled out of the doorway of a half tumbled house, carrying her notebook and a leather tome. She walked along the vacant street, entering the main feasting hall of the town. Since Eranthe Laon had taken her to a cave system in the impenetrable mountains, Faith had discovered the ruins of Engel. They had spent day after day excavating the city, the knowledge possessed by only two of them. The main feasting hall was the best intact building and served as shelter and quarters. She had taught the shepherdess valuable skills necessary to assist her. Eranthe kept every one of her secrets, including this from Sláne. She found the blonde shepherdess on the front steps of the building, eagerly cleaning the dirt from a figurine. She nearly dropped it upon spotting Faith, jumping to her feet and acquisitioning the heavy book.

"You are not allowed to carry big burdens," said Eranthe.

"Psht," replied Faith. "I needed to get this back here. It references maintenance on power conduits."

"Power conduits? What are those?"

Faith flipped open the book, pointing to several passages. "They carry energy from one point to another. They will hopefully lead us to the heart of Engel, the energy source. Though according to this it looks closer to the fifth hill."

"That's in the center of the city," said Eranthe. "It'd take much effort to uncover a way there."

"It will have to wait," sighed Faith, placing a hand on her distended belly.

They spent the rest of the morning cataloguing the previous days' findings. Faith sat huddled behind a stack of documents, writing furiously. When she was halfway through, she felt a sharp pain in her belly and wetness drip onto her thighs. In horror she struggled to stand, finding her skirt stained red.

"Eranthe!" she screamed. "The baby!"

_Homar, Asta. December 3._

"Iena."

The woman did not look up at Sláne during his approach, she continued concentrating on the pile of wool in her lap. The shuffling of the cleaning brushes intermingled with the popping embers in the fire, wholly capturing Faith's attention. Sláne exhaled determinedly, the pity and guilt he felt for her stirring. Her face was unmoving and emotionless, as it had been since he'd arrived too late to save her and the child. The event had eaten away at her, leaving her empty and somber. At Sláne's side stood a toddler, two years old in appearance, with brown hair and blue eyes. Sláne forcefully loosened the cleaning brushes from Faith's hands, making her turn to look at him. The bright faced toddler let go of Sláne, stumbling and reaching for Faith. Her face stirred with curiosity and wonder, and she held out a palm to stroke the boy's face.

"This is Iwan," said Sláne softly. "He is my son by Aitolia. I did not bring him here before because I was worried it might hurt the validity of our marriage. But I wish for him to be your son, and you his mother. Take him as your own."

She hesitated, her voice doubtful. "You could have told me about him before."

Slowly she reached to the child and pulled him into her lap. The boy imitated her, touching her cheek.

"My mother?"

Tears welling up in her eyes, she kissed his forehead. "Yes."


	3. Ch 3: Escape

**Chapter Three: Escape**

"_Only those who can leave behind everything  
they have ever believed in can hope to escape."_  
-William S. Burroughs

_Halica. April 2, 2010._

"McKay, I think you're overly exaggerating."

The Lt. Colonel shook his head frustratedly, shouldering his gun and turning away from the scientist. They stood atop a small weapons array built into a rundown defense tower, having spent the past four hours there.

McKay smacked a decayed gun barrel in protest. "It's true!"

Sheppard rolled his eyes. "This thing couldn't even take out our puddlejumper, much less a bigger ship."

"It can. It's just out of juice."

"And where would you get the energy?" asked Teyla. "These people do not have such technology."

"Lightning," said McKay smugly. "The capacitors are shot, so it can only hold a minimum charge. Get me a direct link from a large power source, we're talking hive ships."

"Yeah, which brings us to the main reason we're here," said Sheppard. "Power."

"I do not think it moral to take the only defense system these people have," said Teyla.

McKay held up the computer tablet, showing blueprints of the weapon. "It's half dead anyways. They have no use for it."

"Much fun as this is, I think I'm going to take the Gloren up on their hunting offer," said Ronon, fiddling with his gun.

"No, I need you to stay here and help move it Mr. Muscles," said McKay. "Donaldson and I cannot lift it ourselves."

"You brought another team already?"

"Yes, soon as we found it. Sergeant Lewis' team is right behind us."

"Next time, you let me decide that McKay," said Sheppard, descending the tower stairs.

Two hours later, they had rendezvoused with the second team, and began to load the weapons system into both jumpers. The process was slow and arduous with McKay overseeing the hauling and assembly.

"Hey! Watch it!" snapped the scientist as one of the soldiers dropped a gun barrel.

"Chill McKay," said Dr. Donaldson.

"I will not 'chill'. I am just as paranoid as any of you now that we're back in Pegasus. Who knows what damage the Wraith caused in our absence—"

"Speaking of which," said one of the soldiers. "Wraith!"

The teams abandoned the equipment, half diving for cover beneath the tower, the others scrambling into the puddlejumpers.

"Wait for me," shouted Donaldson, following Sheppard and Lewis into the first jumper.

The ship took off quickly, a series of darts appearing on the horizon. Sheppard launched two drones, destroying several of them in the ensuing hits. They swung over the team after the others, but were surrounded by a half dozen more.

"Oh crap."

The jumper dodged Wraith blasts and cut below into the streets of Halica, sending the occupants screaming. Two of the darts smashed into neighboring buildings, the jumper pulling up last moment at the city's edge. The trailing darts began to gain ground, causing Sheppard to dive the ship past obstacles to avoid their fire. As they flew towards the outlying hills, the Stargate came into view. It was active, a small group of people in white going through it.

"Colonel," hissed Donaldson. "They're on top of us!"

The jumper suddenly shuddered, a Wraith blast hitting one of the side pods. A Wraith dart appeared in the area ahead, coming directly at them. The jumper was forced towards the ground, its speed falling as it lost momentum. The dart U-turned and came up behind them, ready to fire and forcing the Atlantians lower. The Stargate appeared before them and Sheppard suddenly retracted the pods, hurtling the ship into the open wormhole. It emerged upon the other side, a valley filled with ruins of a large city sprawling below.

They flew in an arc towards the Stargate, causing the two accompanying darts to appear in line of sight. Sheppard released the remaining drone, exploding the first Wraith ship into a flaming ball. A moment later, the second dart blew up, a blast hitting the puddlejumper and knocking it sideways. Sheppard maneuvered it away quickly, but a series of explosions rocked the air around them, striking the craft repeatedly. They fell swiftly from the sky, the jumper smashing into the trees and hitting the ground hard. The other soldier was thrown against the jumper wall, the others slammed towards the console knocking them into darkness.

.-.-.-.

The darkness dissolved into a dizzying array of color and light, Sheppard's sight slowly becoming focused. His head throbbed in pain and he felt the trickle of blood on his forehead. He slid out of the pilot's seat, his legs wobbling. A tree had struck through the front window of the jumper, barely missing him and the unconscious Donaldson in the seat next to him. Finding the scientist still breathing, he smacked him until he awoke.

"What happened?" he asked drowsily.

"We were shot down, now get up," said Sheppard.

He checked on the other soldier, but found him dead. Quickly he tossed supplies into a bag, handing the scientist a gun.

"Follow me."

They crashed into the nearby brush of the forest, the darkness of the wood closing in on them. The sound of voices floated to them from the jumper's direction, causing them to hurry away faster. After two hours of persistent running, Donaldson finally broke down, refusing to go any further.

"Colonel, this is insane. We do not know if these people are the ones who shot us down."

Tossing him water, the soldier shook his head. "We have no choice and you need to stop taking breaks. We're doubling back towards the jumper; do you think it is fixable?"

"No, absolutely not. It was dead when we left it."

"Then we'll have to acquire other methods of transport or overtake the Stargate."

"Insanity. Impossible," piped the scientist.

Sheppard rolled his eyes. "You're quite the optimist. It's all we have left."

Eventually they left the woods and re-entered the outskirts of the city which they had seen from the air, the sunlight fading with the hours that passed. They avoided several guards monitoring the outskirts, sneaking in towards the center where the Stargate supposedly lay. As they entered an abandoned building to rest, a voice suddenly boomed across the outlying street.

"Attention outsiders! We have cornered you, abandon your weapons and come out peacefully, or we will be forced to harm you."

Sheppard whispered instructions to Donaldson and left the building through a broken window, maneuvering around the ruins. He took out two roving guards and returned to the abandoned building. At the entrance a series of gunshots rang in his direction, causing him to skitter into the nearby stairwell. He lured the attackers to the roof, taking out the first that chased after him. A moment later, another man appeared, holding a weapon to Dr. Donaldson's head. He was older and more rugged, wearing a soldier's uniform.

"Lower your weapon," the stranger commanded.

The trio circled across the rooftop, Sheppard walking slowly closer. "I don't think you want to hurt him. That would be a big mistake on your part."

"You're right, I'm better off shooting you."

The man suddenly shoved Dr. Donaldson over the edge of the building and aimed at Sheppard, causing the soldier to yell and dodge behind the chimney.

"Who are you?" he yelled.

"Depends on who you are," replied Sheppard, releasing a round.

The other soldier avoided it and shot in his direction. "I am Arnas, Captain of Thalla's Guard. You will surrender or die."

"Not going to happen."

Sheppard released another round of fire, freeing the path to the stairwell. In the street, other soldiers drove him from the city. They chased him into the woods, where he was doggedly followed. He lost his way in the dark, retaining only his urge to keep moving forward. When he had depleted the last of his water and gone far enough to lose his pursuers, he found an overgrown grove and lay against a tree to rest. When the darkness of oblivion was about to overtake him, he heard a hiss and movement nearby. Before he could draw his gun, there was a screech and searing pain in his leg. He struck towards the sound and fired, the attacking animal howling in distress and withdrawing. His leg burned as if on fire and he felt the blood bubbling from the deep wound. Nauseated by the sensations, he half-heartedly bound it in cloth and hobbled off. The trees dissipated into crop fields, which provided less protection from searching eyes.

His vision grew steadily worse and the weakness spread from his leg to the rest of his body, overtaking him. He grew confused and dizzy, stopping often to rest. Before he knew it, he had reached the apex of a road, the surface welcome to his stumbling feet. As dawn began to approach, he collapsed on the roadside, his breathing labored and unconsciousness consuming him.

_So this is what it's like to die._

_Homar, April 4, 2011_

The waves shimmered blue in the fading sunlight, echoing their roar as they rolled towards shore. The sand slushed over her feet with each step, her stride unsure and halting. She felt a strong arm around her waist and she looked up, a long forgotten face disintegrating into blackness. She blinked and tossed onto her side, a sudden yell causing her to sit up straight.

"Iena."

She fumbled for her dress, sweat causing it to cling to her skin. The voice yelled once more when she reached the back door, causing her to throw it open hurriedly. Before her stood three men, a litter balanced between two of them. The oldest stepped forward, his light blue eyes glinting.

"What nonsense brings you to my door at this hour, Boen? My son is asleep."

"Forgive me, but this cannot wait," said the man, slowly lifting the tarp covering the litter. An unconscious man lay there, his clothing bloody and torn. Sighing, she ushered them into the procedure room, fumbling for the lantern.

"What happened?"

"Arnas has lost his mind. He has been hunting this man until he was half dead in the forest. The Zoion bit him."

Boen grabbed the lantern, lighting it quickly. He handed it to her, allowing her to finally see the man's face. It was scratched and his tousled hair was caked with mud and blood. A stab of fear went through her and she balked, nearly dropping the lantern.

"Take him away. Get out of my house!"

Boen caught her by the wrists and said grimly, "You know I can't do that."

"I can't help him," she said, desperation in her voice.

_It wasn't possible._

"Sláne is gone. You are the only one left who can."

"Why? Why do you insist?"

The man raised his voice, tightening his grasp. "Because this man came through the Ring. He bears your insignia."

He removed a patch of hard cloth from the soldier's shoulder, which had a winged horse and "Atlantis" sewed onto it. Her fingers trembled and dug into her arm, the pain reassuring her it was not a dream. She struggled to find her voice, hope and fear strangling each other in her chest.

"The Council told me Atlantis was destroyed. Sláne told me the Ring was long buried."

"It was for some time. Sláne lied to you."

"Why?" she croaked.

Boen released her. "To protect you from doing something foolish, from abandoning him and the child."

"I would've taken them with me," she said. "Yet he had to go get half killed and ascend. Then you people don't have the decency to let me go or tell me—"

"You are one of us," growled Boen. "Don't forget that. Our reasons were the same as his. All that we have done is to protect our people, which is why I brought this man to you. He came through the Ring in a ship, that crashed when Wraith and Aleri shot at it."

She bristled. "Wraith?"

"They followed him through, but were destroyed too. The other Aleri are still searching for this man. If he will not speak the truth to you, he will be imprisoned."

"I am not sure I can save him."

"Try."

_April 7, 2011_

A low soft hum filled his ears and the blankness of his vision amongst the muddled confusion of his thoughts. He rolled onto his side towards the sound, his senses slowly returning. He found a woman with simple linen clothing and sun bleached chestnut hair sitting across the room from him, her attention focused on a pestle and mortar.

"Hello," he said curiously.

The pestle dropped to the floor with a thud, the woman's blue eyes fixated on him. The curves of her face and shape of her form seemed familiar. He blinked and raised an eyebrow.

"Do you understand me?"

She nodded, bending over to pick up the fallen item while she still stared. The memory of whispering voices returned to him, and he straightened in bed.

"Iena? I heard them call you that."

She sighed and spoke quietly. "Yes that 's what I am called here. Do you remember anything?"

"Just a field …voices, and extreme pain. Where am I?"

"You are on a planet named Asta, in my house in Homar. You needn't be afraid."

He studied the ice blue pools of her eyes and unwillingly felt his apprehension pass from him. "This is going to sound like a cheesy pick-up line, but have we met before? My name is Lt. Colonel John—"

"Sheppard," she interrupted. "It's good to see you?"

His face registered surprise, his eyes wide. "Who are you?"

She choked back an excited sob, her voice strained and thick with emotion. "Dr. Faith Stuart of Atlantis."

"How do I know this isn't a trick?"

She smiled grimly and cautiously approached the bed. She pulled back her waist long hair and quickly loosened the garment ties, exposing her back and shoulders. Taking his hand, she ran it along a narrow ridge on her back, where a scar had formed.

"Even Dr. Beckett could not totally fix me that day in the infirmary with this knife wound. You were lying in the bed across from me after being attacked by an Iratus bug."

She lowered her arm, causing his hand to linger and send a shiver down her spine. Disturbed, she pulled away and faced him. "Do you believe me now?"

"Yes."

"Now please tell me about Atlantis."

He told her in detail about her brother and the city, how it had fought off numerous enemies and even made an interim trip to Earth. Overwhelmed by the information, she nearly broke down several times. In return, she explained about the Zoion and Astaians.

"My—these people are overly protective of their planet. From what I have discerned, they routinely bury the Gate."

"So you stayed here, living the quiet life and waiting for rescue," he said. "Sorry this isn't much of a rescue, looks more like you saved me."

"Only because of what my late husband taught me, and left behind. He had the only cure against Zoion poison. Though it will be many days before your pain and paralysis disappear."

_April 15, 2011._

The distant sound of chimes echoed through the open windows, pervading the stillness of the sitting room. Lanterns dimly glowed throughout, casting a golden sheen on the skin of the pair sitting on the floor.

"Hold still," said Faith, pressing upon the soldier's leg.

"Man that stings," said Sheppard.

He watched intently while she patted his upper thigh softly, spreading the herbs and treatment evenly across his skin. The deep gouge from the Zoion's fangs shone red on his leg, where the animal had bitten him hard. Her fingers brushed his skin smoothly before beginning to tie a new bandage on.

He shuddered and grabbed her by the wrist, his voice husky. "I think I can do the rest."

She smirked, his face dangerously close to hers. Lowering her arm, she said, "Very well."

The intermediate silence between them was instantly broken by a distant repeating thud. Faith quickly rose to her feet and ran to the back door, finding Einarr and Boen Talar standing there.

"Greetings."

"Come in," said Faith reluctantly.

They followed her into the sitting room, where the soldier was propped up on the chaise. Sheppard eyed them suspiciously.

"Who are you?"

"Einarr."

"Boen."

"Why have you come?" asked Faith. "Has the Council learned of our situation?"

"Yes. We're going to present your case before them to let you through the Ring."

"Well let's go then," said Sheppard brightly.

Faith shook her head. "No Colonel, you can barely walk the length of my house without collapsing."

"That's hardly relevant."

"We will return once you are fit for the journey," said Einarr, bowing.

"Who said we should have to wait? I don't see much point here in sitting around doing nothing."

"Colonel," interrupted Faith. "Thank you Boen for your efforts. May light guide your way."

The two men departed, leaving the pair alone. Sheppard eased himself upward, eyeing her oddly. "They have the Stargate open. We should make a break for it."

"I will not put my son's life at risk. You underestimate these people John. They will kill you if you try to escape."

"I swear I will get us back to Atlantis, whatever happens," he said quietly.

_Thalla, Asta. April 21._

"Are we there yet?"

The small brown head peeked over the wagon side, staring at the ruins lying ahead on the road. In his hands were a toy soldier and book. Faith smoothed his hair down and took him in her lap.

"Nearly," said Boen, smiling at the boy. "How did you know?"

Iwan pointed at a looming tower ahead. "The Kyaen guard tower from the last time the Acherons lived here."

"He knows entirely too much for a six year old," said Boen laughing.

"Mom, will Eranthe keep the house safe while we're gone?"

"Yes Iwan."

They entered the ruins of Thalla and came upon a sight Faith disliked, the building of the Hereis Council of Asta. They stood outside the main doors talking, until entering the Council chamber together. She tightly gripped Iwan's hand, raising her head defiantly towards the Aleri. Boen attempted to step alongside her, but she shook her head and went forward.

"You know why you are here?"

"I am here to ask for my rights as an Astaian and as a member of another race. You have spurned my existence and yet permitted it. I have done the same in continuing to lead my life here. In all that I have done, I can help your world by leading my work beyond it. This man here, Lt. Colonel John Sheppard is proof enough of Atlantis' continued survival. The Ancestral city is in the throes of chaos against the Wraith, standing at the forefront of the continued battle. We have united worlds, friend and foe in bringing down those that would threaten Pegasus' survival. I demand the freedom of myself, my son, and John Sheppard to go through the Ring to Atlantis. I demand our belongings and research that were taken from me when I was brought here, including the body of Corporal Damon."

The Council asked more questions, but after five minutes began to vote. As they went along the table raising their hands in favor, the vote tied, leaving Lichas as the breaker. Iwan calmly broke from Faith's side and strode to the table, his eyes fixed on the man's. A war seemed to rage inside the Aleri as he studied Iwan, and a shudder passed through him as he raised his hand in favor.

"Your demands are to be fulfilled," he said loudly. "Talar, retrieve their possessions."

As the group turned, Iwan and Faith stood steadfast. "And if we wish to pursue established relations here?" she asked forcefully.

Lichas paused, glancing at Iwan. "Then we will allow that one day. Now depart Asta."

Faith took the boy's hand, causing him to jolt from a trancelike state. He smiled and followed her out of the chamber, many eyes on their back. When the doors were closing shut, the faint voice of the Aleri leader drifted through.

"That is truly Sláne Rodaen's son."

Late in the afternoon they were led to the center of Thalla, to the place where the Stargate stood. Each carried a heavy burden, consisting of Faith's research, the ZPM, Corporal Damon's cremated remains, and miscellaneous belongings. A group of Aleri surrounded the trio while they walked up the stairs to the Stargate. The Talars nodded farewell to Faith, all tentatively watching Sheppard enter his IDC code. Gripping Iwan's free hand tightly, Faith wedged him between her and Sheppard. They strode into the open wormhole, leaving Asta. The familiar but long forgotten fate room appeared before them, overwhelming Faith's senses. A moment later, a contingent of soldiers scrambled towards them, aiming at the two strangers standing with Sheppard.

"Hold it right there."


	4. Ch 4: Broken Bonds

**Chapter Four: Broken Bonds**

"_And though my Lord hath lost his estate and  
been banished out of his country, yet neither  
despised poverty nor pinching necessity could  
make him break the bonds of friendship or  
weaken his loyal duty."_  
-Margaret Cavendish

A blood curdling angry shout echoed throughout the gate room, Iwan Rodaen shouting and stepping in front of Faith protectively. Startled, one of the soldiers pointed at him, causing Sheppard and Faith to yell simultaneously.

"Put your weapons down!"

She stepped towards the soldier, grabbing the gun barrel and aiming it towards the ceiling. Two pairs of hands restrained her, causing her to nearly drop the bag she held. Iwan reactively kicked one of the men holding his mother, striking him repeatedly in the shin. Sheppard yelled several commands once more, causing the soldiers to free her and step backwards.

"What's going on here?" said a voice from the main stairwell. A balding man with glasses descended to the gate platform, stopping once he stood behind the soldiers. He stared wide eyed at Sheppard. "Colonel, we almost thought you were dead after our search turned up nothing. We accepted your IDC on the minimal chance—" Mr. Woolsey dispersed the soldiers, getting a clear look at the two arrivals. "Colonel, who did you bring here without authorization?"

A second later the Atlantis leader was bumped, a grey clad figure flying past him and closing onto Faith. A cry emanated from her, at recognizing the face of Dr. Christina Brown.

Mr. Woolsey raised an eyebrow. "Colonel?"

"Dr. Faith Stuart. Pronounced MIA six years ago."

.-.-.-.

Iwan rubbed his arm vigorously and shifted the bag he carried. He poked at the Sesame Street bandage and looked upward. "Mom, I do not like needles."

"Neither do I," said Faith, stroking his hair. "But Dr. Keller wanted to make sure you're healthy."

He grimaced. "I am like a Zoion, strong." He scrambled along the hallway towards the figure walking ahead of them, until he matched strides. "Hello."

Sheppard glanced over his shoulder at Faith, who hurriedly came in their direction. "I got word from Dr. Keller," said Sheppard. "One hundred percent DNA match to Dr. Faith Stuart." He waved at the escorting soldier behind them, dismissing the man. "No need for that."

"Where are we going now?" asked Iwan.

"To see Mr. Woolsey," answered Sheppard.

"What about my brother?" asked Faith quietly.

"He was informed; he'll be allowed to see you shortly."

They re-entered the upper levels of the control room, towards the now changed office that formerly belonged to Dr. Weir. Mr. Woolsey stood awaiting them at his desk, and sat when they each took a chair. Wide-eyed, Iwan examined the rolling object beneath him, playing with the different levers. Mr. Woolsey smirked and turned to Faith.

"At Sheppard's insistence and Dr. Keller's results, we're going to allow you to resume residence and work on Atlantis with your step-son. You have full access to wander the city."

Faith nudged the boy, causing him to sit up alert. "In which case, Mr. Woolsey, we have this." Iwan carefully surrendered the bag he carried, and Faith lifted out an object, placing it on the desk. "One active ZPM."

Mr. Woolsey leaned forward on the desk, his mouth slightly open. "Dr. Stuart, you waited until now to make this known?"

"To be honest," said Faith. "How was I to know if you'd send me back to Earth directly or interrogate me, not believing who I am."

"We stopped sending all but critical personnel back to Earth once we returned to Pegasus," said Sheppard. "We depleted down to one-fourth of a ZPM and the entire energy reserve from Earth in order to return."

"How did you make it from Earth?"

"A national interconnected power-grid built to serve any arbitrary defense need required for the Stargate program," said Mr. Woolsey. "It took two years to build. Though the IOA—"

"Sir!"

A loud shout interrupted their conversation, followed by a thud. The door to the office slammed open, everyone turning in their seats to see a tall brown haired soldier charge in. Faith rose to her feet slowly, the air tensing between her and the intruder. Andrew Stuart strode to his sister, hugging her tightly until she barely could breathe. His face buried in her side, he let out a small racking sob.

Another soldier entered the room, holding his cheek and pointing at his comrade. "Sir, he punched me."

"Master Sergeant," said Sheppard sharply.

"Sorry sir," choked Andrew.

The Lt. Colonel turned to the other soldier, studying his face. "Won't leave a mark. Move along."

"Seeing as everyone is to ambush you Dr. Stuart, you're free to go," said Mr. Woolsey, smirking.

Iwan cautiously approached Andrew, and put out his hand. "Uncle Andrew?"

Shocked, the soldier allowed the boy to take his hand and lead him from the office. Faith followed at their heels, breaking Andrew from Iwan's grip while the boy went wandering towards the control room. Her brother stopped mid-stride, his expression stupefied.

"Since when—how can you have a child? It wasn't possible."

"And I still can't I think. He's adopted, my former husband's son," she said quickly.

"Despite, he looks just like you Fae," said Andrew. "Hold up, you were married?"

"Am I interrupting?" Lt. Colonel Sheppard appeared behind them, looking very concerned.

"Yes."

"No sir."

Iwan barreled from the control room and stopped in front of Sheppard, his eyes bright and eager. "Where are the spaceships I have heard of?"

Sheppard raised an eyebrow and guided the boy towards a nearby hall. "Let me show you."

In silence they watched the pair walk away, and Andrew turned to his sister, speaking lowly, "We have a lot to talk about."

"You have no idea."

They went down several side corridors until they reached his living quarters, her brother slipping in ahead of her. Faith did not notice her brother knock several picture frames over purposely before allowing her to sit. A silver frame upon his desk caught her attention and she rose, her mouth widening as she went closer. Andrew leapt to his feet and slammed it down a second too late, allowing her to see the snapshot of her friend Lanie Pryce passionately embracing him. On the hand touching his face was a familiar diamond ring, which had belonged to their mother, Vivian Stuart.

"Andrew Stuart!"

"Faith, sit down before you keel over."

"You're married?"

"Engaged."

"To one of my best friends?" roared Faith, turning on him. "You gave her mom's ring? When were you planning on telling me?"

He placed both hands on her shoulders, maneuvering her into the rolling chair nearby. She breathed exasperatedly, pushing the picture away.

"Faith, you've seen me all of fifteen minutes and everything exploding out of the woodwork. We need to take this down a notch before you freak out completely," he said gently. "The wedding is in three months, you have plenty of time to be involved. We all got closer after you were pronounced MIA slash dead."

"I can't handle this. Where's Larson? I need to see him now," she snapped.

"He's not on Atlantis anymore, he transferred to Earth and is on sabbatical."

"Collins?"

"He died a few years ago."

"I need to go."

She shot straight from the chair and forced herself past her brother. A range of scientists and soldiers gave her odd looks while she barged through the corridors in her traditional Astaian garb, her brother at her heels. When she had reached the ship hangar, she followed the voice of her son to a particular puddlejumper. He was in the co-pilot's seat next to Sheppard, intently listening to every word the soldier said. Smirking, Sheppard nodded in greeting and shut off the HUD. Faith bent over the chair and took the boy's hand.

"Iwan, do you remember what I told you about ice cream, football, and cities?"

"Yes mom."

"He much does he know about Earth?" asked John curiously.

"How would you like to visit?" she said softly.

Andrew appeared in the cargo bay area a second later, out of breath and his eyes wild. Ignoring him, Sheppard lowered his head and shook it.

"The ZPM you acquired is being sent back to Earth. Therefore such a trip is impossible."

"What?" she said suddenly. "How can they do that?"

"The planet is practically defenseless minus a few ships," he said. "We're on the verge of war with the Lucian Alliance and the Aurora chair on Earth was destroyed in the battle with the Wraith last year. We're also sending a slew of weapons systems we recovered recently here in the Pegasus galaxy."

"I think I can negotiate a way around that," she murmured, stroking Iwan's head.

.-.-.-.

Faith knocked lightly on the door frame of the office, causing a bald head to reactively appear from behind a pile of books and papers. The other occupants of the office turned towards her, Corrigan and McKay staring at her.

"Having fun with my research?" she said, holding back a smile.

"This is who you got this from?" asked McKay. "Since when do anthropologists get more funding for longer term study periods than my department?"

She rolled her eyes. "I was stuck on a planet for multiple years after being pronounced likely dead. I did this all for free."

"Besides all the boring cultural stuff, there are references to power grids running through the dead city," said McKay. "However, if there were any ZPMs there, you'd have found them after so long."

"Have you tried moving pounds of rubble with a spade? Despite what you may think, the inner ring or Four Hills, are blocked on all sides by walls of rubble that were purposely put there when the city fought its last stand against the Wraith. With only two sets of hands, we had to do it the old fashioned way. The main circuits and ZPMs are located are past that blockade."

"I didn't get that far," said McKay.

Mr. Woolsey adjusted his glasses and peered over the large journal he held. "I think there's enough material in here to suffice an operation. Lt. Colonel Sheppard and Sergeant Stuart's teams will escort you back to Asta."

McKay slammed one of the books shut, earning a glare from Faith. "I think this is a fishing expedition."

"This is the best lead we have Dr. McKay," said Mr. Woolsey.

"And yet we're following the trail of someone who was working without lab equipment—"

Shaking her head, Faith interrupted. "Don't worry Dr. McKay you're in charge of the technological aspect of this. However, if you do not listen to what Lt. Colonel Sheppard and I tell you to do, you may not survive a minute on the planet."

"I'm fully capable Dr. Stuart."

"Dr. Stuart," echoed a voice in Faith's ear. "This is Dr. Keller, can you please come down to the infirmary?"

"Excuse me," she said suddenly, tapping the radio earpiece. "Mr. Woolsey, I am needed elsewhere."

She made her way to the infirmary unit, and found Dr. Keller hovering over a patient with a number of scratches and bruises. The red haired doctor looked up at her approach and excused herself from the gurney, ushering Faith to an empty area. Picking up a tablet, Dr. Keller tapped the screen to bring up results and flipped it towards her.

"I did the Ancient gene comparison you asked me for, and I discovered a very high incidence. It's below only two other people-"

"That's great," said Faith. "Maybe I can assimilate Asta into that ATA gene mapping project."

"Dr. Stuart, that's not all. The computer made an interesting discovery while comparing Iwan's genome to others on the base. You told me he was your step son, the product of a union between your late husband and another woman?"

"Yes," said Faith slowly. "Please don't tell me you found an anomaly."

"I found a few unknown genes, but that's not the important thing," said Keller, tapping the screen once more. Two marked sets of DNA appeared on the tablet, certain areas highlighted. "There's a ninety-nine point nine percent match that says you're his mother."

"What?"

"You said you had last a child during pre-term delivery in late 2006? The results of your physical showed no sign that you'd ever been pregnant. And since Iwan is bordering seven years old, this cannot be possible. Yet this is irrefutable evidence."

Faith stumbled backwards towards one of the beds, her hands shaking as they gripped the edge. The welling suspicion which had bubbled in her since Sláne first brought her the child finally broke free. Anger and resentment bursting through her, she let out a guttural growl.

"He is my lost son, and I will get to the bottom of this."

Without a further word, she left the room, in search of Iwan.

.-.-.-.

The hum of the puddlejumper engines filled the hangar, growing louder as Faith made her way towards a small group of people. Iwan rushed forward to greet the familiar faces, while Andrew made his way over to his sister. He took in the poorly covered shadows under her eyes and paleness of her face, and patted her on the shoulder.

"You look like crap."

"I feel like crap," she muttered. Turning to the boy, she nudged him towards Andrew. "By the way, he's your biological nephew."

"Biological—" Her brother's eyes went wide and he stared down at Iwan, then grabbed her by the elbow. "You're joking."

Ignoring him, she knelt down and adjusted the boy's shirt, which was traditional Astaian clothing. "Do not be scared, I have already met with Lichas again and he will not cause us harm. You must trust the skills of John in flying the ship, you are perfectly safe."

"Yes mom," he said, a happy glint in his eyes.

Faith and Iwan were seated behind McKay and Sheppard, the rest of the teams in the cargo hold. A smile grew across her son's face when the puddlejumper took off and hurtled through the Stargate, emerging upon Asta. Following the pre-flight map given to them by Faith, they came over the rocky valley of Engel within minutes. The center of the city was a perfect circle, the edges filled with collapsed material and rock from the nearby mountainside. On the northern ramparts were the remains of a Wraith cruiser, which had been annihilated by the fallen debris.

"Holy cow."

"I guess their legends are true," said Faith in awe.

"Forget legends, this was one major battle," said McKay. "This ring indicates a shield that withstood an assault very easily and the added stress of this stone avalanche. Also…" He pointed to the HUD, four distinct energy signatures appearing on it. "A minorly shielded area, consistent with ZPMs."

"So now you believe me," said Faith, crossing her arms.

"When I see them, I'll believe it."

"There isn't enough room to land near the ZPMs. We'll have to set down on that hill."

When the jumper began to descend, a sudden white shock of light emanated from the central tower that contained the ZPM signatures. It came in their direction and jolted the ship, causing them to take a nosedive towards the ground. A bluish tinged light appeared and began enveloping the city center.

"The shield is active," yelled McKay. "Pull up."

"I'm trying," growled Sheppard.

Barely a meter above the shield surface, Sheppard managed to swing the jumper upward, causing several people to tumble to the floor. As they ship leveled, another series of white light sparked near the central building, and the shield faded from view.

"What the hell was that?" said one of the soldiers.

Watching one of the white lights vault into the sky above, John said quietly, "I think someone doesn't want us here."

"We've taken out Hive Ships. We can take on an all powerful non-corporeal ascended being," said McKay weakly.

Faith glanced at Iwan, noticing oddly the boy was smiling. "I think it's gone," she said. "We're safe now."

"The shield is down," Sheppard said, hesitantly reaching for the controls again.

They landed the ship in the overgrown gardens of a meditation temple, and separated into their two teams.

"Why is your boy with us?" asked Parker, one of the soldiers on Andrew's team.

"Because if he is not with us when we meet the Hereis Council after this, they would likely kill us. I do not approve of using my son this way, but I had no choice."

"Oh great."

"This city is remarkably well preserved," said Dr. Vogel, staring up at the massive buildings around them.

They wandered through the stone streets of Engel, Dr. McKay and Dr. Vogel leading the way with their handheld scanners. At the center of the ruins, they came upon the many tiered building in the heart of the Four Hills. Before they crossed the threshold of the front gate, McKay stopped them in their tracks.

"Damn it, this is shielded." He pointed to a control panel, which was affixed to the gateway. "If I can hack into this—"

Iwan tottered up to the device and stood on his toes, placing his right hand on the webby surface. A second later, McKay's scanner blipped.

"The shield is down," he trailed off, staring at the child." How did he do that?"

"Maybe an Astaian needed to touch it," suggested Faith, raising an eyebrow.

They went through the process several more times, until they were at the bottom of the building's main tower. In the middle were four ZPMs on a pedestal, glowing brightly. McKay approached it with the scanner and pointed to a chamber off to the right.

"There's a system controlling the power grid back there," he said.

They entered a large area, which was filled with control panels, unknown devices, and lab consoles. Off to the side was a small bed with still crumpled sheets, their surface muddied with long dried blood. A shiver passed through Faith and she felt Iwan tightly clench her hand, his arm shaking.

"Mother," he whispered. "I never like being here."

Quizzically she examined him, but said nothing further, observing the other scientists hover over the control panels.

"Go wait in the hall Iwan," she said lowly.

After a few minutes, McKay raised his voice in triumph. "Piece of cake."

Several other computers clicked on and a panel with data lit up. On the panel were visible strands of DNA, which had a few spots in the sequences missing. Narrowing her eyes, she pulled out her tablet, connecting it to an output source.

"What're you doing Dr. Stuart?"

"This is more than a control lab, there were experiments taking place here," she said quietly. "I think we need to copy all of the data we can."

"Agreed," said Vogel.

"Waste your time with that if you wish, but I'm getting the ZPMs out first."

They exited into the main hall, where they found Iwan in a trance-like state, staring at the pedestal. He looked up at Faith and smiled as she approached.

"I saw father."

Andrew cautiously approached them. "Fae, I thought you said his father was dead?"

"If the kid's seeing dead people, we should get a containment team in here," said McKay, nearly dropping his equipment. "Who knows what we were all just exposed to."

"Shut up McKay," snapped Faith. "His father isn't dead, he's ascended." She said softly, "Iwan, Sláne has moved on, he hasn't a purpose here anymore."

Silently the boy shook his head, causing a wave of doubt to overwhelm her. They spend much of the next hours downloading data from the systems and preparing the ZPMs for transport. When the teams were about to leave, Faith handed Iwan to her brother and instructed them to leave ahead of her. The others left immediately for the jumper, leaving Faith alone in the hall.

She gazed up at the sunlight pouring through the vaulted ceiling and shouted, "I know you can hear me you son of a bitch. Show yourself."

A minute passed before a cascade of white light appeared above her, assimilating into a solid form. Sláne took deep breaths and turned his eyes to her, a sad smile on his face.

"You are very correct, for my mother has done much damage to us and our son."

She stepped toward him threateningly, fear and anger strangling her throat. "How dare you. I do not know what you did, but I lost the bond and true maternal instinct with him thanks to you. And such lies, why Sláne?"

"As I have said, I did this to protect both of you from her. My mother Isha is Ascended, but now outcast for her crimes." He stepped towards her, raising his hand to stroke her forehead. "Under Astaian law, now that I am Ascended, we are no longer wed. But I still love you. I will show you the truth."

A shiver passed between them and Faith's vision went blank, her body collapsing to the floor.

"Get away from her," commanded a stern voice.

John Sheppard stepped form behind a column, his fun aimed at Sláne. Slowly he approached, keeping the weapon pointed at him. Carefully Sheppard checked her neck, finding a weak but steady pulse.

"What did you do to her?" asked Sheppard sharply.

"I have given her the truth, nothing more."

Shouldering his gun, the soldier lifted her limp body off the ground, turning his back on Sláne. The other man disappeared in a white light, his voice distant.

"It is your turn John Sheppard."

.-.-.-.

_Pain and the sound of her own screams filled the chamber, resonating back to her ears…_

The blonde woman next to her smiled, pulling the wet bloody mass from between Faith's thighs. She lifted the baby boy into the air and placed him atop one of the consoles nearby. Agony tore Faith's vision, her body shuddering in weakness from the lost fluid and birthing process. In the depths of blackness, she found a single white light, which grew and exploded across her vision. Sláne's voice carried to her from afar, intermingled with that of the blonde stranger.

"What have you done mother?"

"I have kept the child alive and grown him to an age where he will definitively survive."

"Using Phydian's inventions to genetically modify my son? You were trying to artificially ascend him weren't you?"

"Yes," said the woman vehemently. "You mated with her and created a half breed child. How could you?"

"My brother was a monster, Isha. Why do you think he was sentenced to death?"

"He was a greater man than you. He attempted to save our people, not destroy them. You are the same weak boy that nearly annihilated this world millennia ago."

"Hold your tongue. The Others know what you have done—"

"Let them punish me. But if you tell that lowly woman the truth, I will kill her. Wipe her mind or else."

"I love you," whispered Sláne in her ear. "I will fix this when I am more powerful than she."

_Her mind emptied of all thought and the pain left her, her body blank…._

Faith choked and opened her eyes wildly, gasping for air and flailing her arms. Andrew's face appeared above hers, his hands tightly gripping her shoulders.

"Shh shh Fae, you're safe."

Shaking her head violently, she searched blindly, finding Sheppard also kneeling next to her on the bench. "Sláne's mother Isha is ascended too, she tried to kill us with the shield, he managed to barely fend her off. Leave now."

"Won't they shoot us down if we do that?" asked Andrew.

"No, just send them a radio transmission saying Isha has warned us to leave. They will let us through."

"I think you hit your head pretty hard," said McKay nervously. "Why would ascended beings want to kill us?"

Faith rose to her feet, grasping her son.

"Get in your seats," instructed Sheppard.

He cloaked the puddlejumper and sent it flying into the air, making a beeline for the Stargate.


	5. Ch 5: Veteran

Chapter 5: Veteran

"_The soldier above all others prays for peace,  
for it is the soldier who must suffer and bear  
the deepest wounds and scars of war."_  
-Douglas MacArthur

"_On the battlefield…leave no soldier behind…  
when they return home leave no veteran behind."_  
-Dan Lipinski

Faith slammed the lid of the laptop closed and spun from the table, her eyes flaring with anger.

"I can see perfectly well what that says, Constance," she said.

Connie winced and moved her screen away from the other scientist. On the LCD were analysis results from the lab on Asta. Among the data they'd found evidence of Iwan Rodaen's DNA and that of artificially modified genes.

"Calm down, before you start breaking something."

"How can I?" choked Faith. "Two years of his life were stolen and his own family members fecked with the basis of his being."

"I don't see any physical harm done. According to Dr. Keller—"

"She wants to stick him under the scanner and shit. My son will not be a lab rat," she snapped.

"We'll figure out exactly what she did." Connie patted her on the shoulder.

Breathing hard, she shook her head. "I need some air."

"Faith."

Shedding the lab coat, Faith strode quickly from the area, her mind blanketed with chaos. Aimlessly she sought the nearby halls, until she found herself on the outskirt of a city pier. She walked towards the edge, away from the brightness. The smell of salt and the canopy of stars filled her senses. Taking in the refreshing air, she nestled near the edge, cradling her knees and nesting her head atop them. In her absorbed thoughts, she didn't hear the footsteps, and barely felt the hand upon her shoulder.

"Is this seat taken?"

Lifting her head, she found Sheppard standing over her with a concerned expression.

"Not at all," she murmured.

He plunked down next to her and motioned to the six pack of beer he held. Without question, he handed one to her, both popping open the cans.

"It's one of those days," he said, nodding to her.

"No kidding," she said. "I find out my kid's grandmother messed with his DNA. How the hell do I explain that to him?"

"That's seriously messed up," said Sheppard, lifting an eyebrow.

"Tell me about it. What happened to you?" she asked, motioning to the stitches on his forehead.

Exhaling hard, he shook his head. "I led my team into such an obvious ambush, but it was the only way we could get out. Ronon got shot up pretty bad and Teyla nearly was hit. She has a kid, I nearly got her killed."

"You can't always protect everyone you care about, I learned that the hard way," said Faith. "But it still stings like an itch."

"I'm not sure why I'm telling you this," said Sheppard, studying his can.

She swigged out of hers. "Misery loves company."

They talked for another hour, the conversation ranging from their first cars to her life on Asta.

"Our dad died when I was five from Huntington's and my mom two years later in a car crash. This makes for an overly protective scary big brother. When I got my first boyfriend at twenty, the minute Andrew met him; he broke the guy's nose!"

Sheppard laughed with her and put down yet another empty can. "Sounds like a good guy and you have a strong bond. That's why I didn't reprimand him for taking out that soldier."

"You've done a good deal for us," she said, crushing the aluminum slightly. "Iwan told me you carried me singlehandedly from Engel's central tower to the ship. If you hadn't been there, Isha might've come back and killed me."

He smiled and brushed her hand with his own. "It was no problem. I still have a debt to repay."

"Absolutely not," she said. "You've done enough."

She caught his hand and squeezed it gently, his warm skin molding against hers. A shiver went through the limb to her spine and she gazed at him stolidly. The soft glow of the stars and small pier lights lit against his skin, and shone as distant glimmers in his eyes. The expression on her face was if she had not seen him before. Emboldened by her gestures and the alcohol in his veins, Sheppard leaned towards her, touching her face. As he came close to her, she tilted towards his cheek, kissing it and breaking the spell.

"Thanks for the drinks," she whispered.

Rising to her feet, she left him alone on the pier, returning indoors to the city. She found Iwan in Andrew's quarters, passed out on her brother's bed. She carried him to the small bed in her quarters, arranging his still sleeping form under the covers. When she touched his head, he woke up, his eyes blearily studying her.

"Mom, are we still going to Earth tomorrow?"

"Only if you go back to sleep," she said, poking his nose.

Quickly he shut his eyes, forcing himself to sleep again.

.-.-.-.

The whirring car engine fell silent when she removed the key, staring out the window at the street she had long forgotten. Uneasily she stepped from the car, examining the house she'd stopped in front of. A small two story blue house with white shutters and porch was protected on each side by tall trees. Long grass encumbered the sidewalk edge, interspersed in the middle with an array of renegade tulips. Still dangling from the porch was a cheesy flamingo wind chime Faith had bought years ago in Florida. Cautiously she ascended the steps, the boards creaking all the way to the top. She rang the doorbell and peered through the murky stained glass, watching a figure come toward her. The door opened, revealing an older, but very familiar figure, Captain Ernest Larson.

He wore heavily stained ripped jeans with a crumpled t-shirt, his hair standing on end. A second later there was a thud and a tinkle of glass as he dropped the bottle he was holding. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes.

"Oh c'mon! I only had one beer," he grumbled. "It's too early for you to be popping about."

"Larson?" she said softly.

Waving his hand nonchalantly, he left the door ajar, walking through the front room into the kitchen. Irked, Faith closed the door and followed him, standing at a distance. Larson made his way to the coffee pot and gurgled an entire cup down before looking in her direction. Blinking hard, he put down his cup, hesitating in front of her.

Suddenly he pinned her against the wall, his voice husky. "So lifelike. I can live with this."

He caught her lips with his own, tangled a hand in her hair, and pressed the other against her belly. Overwhelmed by the tingling and heat in her stomach, she struggled to speak against his lips.

"Cap-"

"Call me the name," he whispered.

"Captain Crunch? Oh Captain Puke Boots you mean?" she said, pushing him away. "You always _loved _that one."

Larson froze, his hands shaking and his eyes opening wider. "Faith?" he croaked. "It's you? Really you?"

"Yes."

Hesitantly he cupped her face, stroking her cheeks and locking eyes. Fear, wonder, and sadness weighted the brown pools, drawing her towards him. He gasped and dropped from her, his chest heaving. His knees threatening to give out, he limped towards the living room, collapsing on the couch. Concerned, she sat beside him, holding his arm and rubbing his back.

"Erne, calm down."

He lifted his head, his hands frustratedly brushing back his hair. "How?"

"I was saved from Pareil by natives of another world. I lived there quite awhile, until Lt. Colonel John Sheppard found me."

"I can't believe this. You were out there the entire time and I left you for dead."

"It doesn't matter, I'm here." She wiped the salty wetness from his face and kissed him hard, nearly toppling him off the couch. His hands found her thighs and as they tumbled to the floor, their clothing followed.

"I can't believe you kept our house," said Faith. She stroked Larson's hair and kissed his chest, causing him to sigh.

"I couldn't let go of it, even after we broke up all that time ago."

Eyeing the sinking sun, she sat up from the bed, reaching for one of his shirts. "I should go, I promised to take Iwan to Chucky Cheese tonight."

"Iwan?" said Larson, a strange note in his voice.

She turned and touched his forehead, her eyes downward. "My son."

"Is he mine?" asked Larson.

"No," she said quietly. "By one of the Astaian natives."

He edged beside her on the bed, taking her hand. "But we tried to get pregnant, and you couldn't."

"I think they did things to me after they pulled me out of the rubble on Pareil. My injuries should've been a lot worse."

He pulled her to his shoulder, caressing her knee. "No matter where you go, and what you decide, I will be here for you Fae."

"Will you come back to Atlantis?"

"After hearing all this madness? Of course, you need me at your back with ascended aliens after you."

"Thanks Erne, I owe you."

"No, I owe you much more."

After a moment of silence, Larson said, "So what does that make us?"

"I honestly don't know," she said quietly. "This whole thing is just crazy."

Snaking an arm around her waist, Larson pulled her close. "I won't force anything on you, but I will fight for you to the end."

"I don't want to hurt you Erne."

"Nothing, absolutely nothing could hurt as much as when I thought you were dead. I love you and it ate me up these past years till I couldn't stand being in the Stargate program anymore. When that soldier Purell got killed, that was it."

"We'll take it slow," she said, kissing his cheek.

"Right now friends with benefits sounds good to me," said Larson gutterly. He knocked her backwards on the bed, both laughing together.

_May 1, 2011_

"It's a little loose around the chest, said Faith, messing with the maroon dress she wore. "My breasts will be falling out during the ceremony."

Lanie giggled and peered alongside her in the full length mirror. "That would be, since the center of attention should be Andrew and I."

"Well at least you're getting married," said Faith.

"You've been married once already," said Lanie, pulling at the dress hem. "And what about Larson?"

Faith twisted her hair into a messy bun, studying the reflection. "We had a fight last week, and I told him to take five, he's pushing me too hard. I can't just go back to what we had."

"Why not?"

"It's complicated."

"Maybe I should've picked a maid of honor with fewer issues," teased Lanie.

A moment later, the doorbell rang, causing Faith to scramble for the door. She stuck her foot in the hall on Iwan's Legos, and fumbled with the long dress down the stairs. Her hair tumbled back to her shoulders and she groaned, yanking the door open. On the front porch was John Sheppard, still in his Atlantis uniform. He raised an eyebrow at seeing the off-shoulder gown.

"Were you expecting your prom date?"

"Yes, but you'll do."

He stepped inside the screen door, gazing around the house. "I got kicked out of my senior prom."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Faith, who is it?" called Lanie, from upstairs.

"Just someone from Atlantis, I'll handle it."

John shifted uneasily. "Is there somewhere we can talk privately?"

She led him through the hall into the kitchen, closing the door behind them. "What's this about?"

"Mr. Woolsey asked that you cut your Earth visit short and return to Pegasus quickly. There was an unfortunate incident. I was privy to the event."

She leaned against the countertop, ominous expectancy rising in her. "I'm in the middle of family visits. What's so—"

"There was a major Wraith culling on Asta. A hive descended on the planet, and the Astaians contacted us for help. We sent teams, but we arrived there almost too late. The Wraith must've sensed the higher technology in Engel, for it was obliterated first, then every major town. We managed to allow two thousand people to escape."

Shock and weakness affecting her limbs, Faith fell to the linoleum on her knees, a silent cry in her throat. Sheppard caught her too late, his arms around her shoulders. She collected herself and pushed him away roughly.

"What have I—we done? There were over fifty thousand people on that planet," she said, gasping for air.

"You couldn't have known. We sure as hell didn't. There was no evidence—"

"We took their defenses and exposed their civilization. They survived for four thousand years with minimal damage from the Wraith."

Sheppard shook his head. "They have ascended beings on their planet willing to break rules, why didn't they do anything?"

"You," she said suddenly. "You led Wraith darts to Asta during that ambush. They must've sent a transmission before being destroyed."

"How could I possibly know that?"

She turned on her heel, her hands gripping the countertop until her knuckles were white. "Get out of here."

"Stuart."

"Get out. You can take Atlantis and shove it up your—"

"Faith, easy."

She whirled on him, tears in her eyes. Hesitantly he closed the gap between them and she followed, collapsing against him in grief.

"Easy."

He held her for several minutes, until her breathing eased and she stopped shaking. She brushed his shirt, her face turning red.

"Now look what I've done," she said, touching the wet stain on his chest.

His fingers caught in her hair as he brushed it from her face. "It's okay," he said, smiling.

She raised her eyes to gaze at him and instinctively he lowered his face, their lips meeting. His warmth engulfed her, settling her nerves but setting her belly on fire. She pressed against him, causing his grip on her to tighten. Two minutes later, a knock sounded on the door, Lanie's voice coming from beyond the entryway.

"Faith? Are you okay?"

Breaking from Sheppard, she said breathlessly, "Fine."

"Who's in there?"

"You better go," she said lowly to him, straightening her hair.

He caressed her cheek, then swung open the door, brushing by a surprised Lanie.

Staring at Faith, her friend asked, "What was the Lt. Colonel doing here?"

"Long story."

.-.-.-.

The crack of the bat and subsequent cheers filled the silence of the room, encompassing them in the game. Lazily Faith readjusted her head on Larson's arm, shifting towards the bowl of popcorn in front of the couch. Larson lowered his arm to allow her back in, his hand sliding along her leg.

"Erne."

"Huh?"

"Don't do that."

He rose on his elbow and looked down at her. "Why not? We did 'it' six times last Monday."

"Until you threw me out of the house," she murmured. "I only came back because you promised you weren't going to try anything, and neither was I."

"C'mon, I was drunk and you got into a fight with me over the toilet seat being left up/"

She rolled onto her back, facing him. "See this is why I wanted to take it slow, so we don't blow things up."

"I'll say last Monday you definitely were bl-"

"I made out with Lt. Colonel Sheppard the other day," she said blankly.

"What?"

"He kissed me. I kissed him. We made out in Andrew's kitchen."

Larson lay still a moment, his breathing slow. "So?"

"Erne, I just told you—"

"Frankly I don't care," he said matter of factly. "I still did you six times last Monday. You want me more."

"You're such a child." Faith covered her face with her hands. "Oh god, I need to stop thinking with my nether regions."

Larson pried away her fingers, his lips against hers. "Look Fae, you're not the type of person to sleep with someone without caring for them. That's just the way it is."

"I'm not sure what I want," she said quietly.

"This is mildly depressing you know."

"Erne, you're only turning forty today. You've got another forty or fifty years, then ascension or who knows what."

He wiped his chin with his hand and sat up. "Maybe we should finish the rest of my birthday cake."

"Okay, what's really bothering you?" she asked.

"I used to think you and I would be out of the Stargate program by now, with three or four kids. Three boys, one girl, two dogs, a minivan, and an addition onto this house."

"I'm thirty-two," she coughed. "You thought I'd pump out four kids by now and resign from the SGC? I never planned on leaving before fifty."

"Not when we first met. You wanted lots of kids and to teach."

She smoothed the hair from his forehead. "That was a long time ago. And they've been letting families stay on Atlantis."

"To breed more scientists and soldiers for the SGC. Do you want Iwan following in your footsteps, or safe on Earth? Going to college, having three kids, and inheriting your house?"

"Nowhere in the universe is quite so safe now. It's up to us to make it again."

* * *

**A/N: **As you can see, Faith is fairly messed up, lol. She really has her heart scattered in every direction and is struggling to glue the pieces together.


	6. Ch 6: Compulsion

Chapter Six: Compulsion

"_How can an act done under compulsion have any moral element in it, seeing what is moral is the free act of an intelligent being."  
_-Auberon Herbert

"_A man is truly ethical only when he obeys the compulsion to help all that he is able to assist, and shrinks from injuring anything that lives."_  
-Albert Schweitzer

.-.-.-.-.

_The screams of the running crowd filled her ears, children and women running in mortal fear from their pursuers…_

Blasts of white light and whines from the sky inundated the air around them. The innocent began to fall, their enemies catching them and pressing sucking hangs to their chests. The cold vicious eyes turned in her direction, and the white face bared its vicious teeth. A hand flew at her, its palm meeting her chest.

_The pain of her life fading away filled her mind, the sound of her dying screams ringing in her ears…_

"Faith!"

Her eyes bolted open, finding Andrew hovering above her, his face illuminated by the soft lights of her room. He shook her once more, then lifted her head to his chest.

"What happened?" she asked, confused.

"Good god, they could hear you screaming bloody murder down the hall. It's the second time this week."

"Third," she muttered.

Wiping the sweat from her face, she eased from Andrew's grip, sitting upright. She found Lanie standing with Iwan in the entryway, both appearing rattled. On sight, her son rushed to her side, burying his head in her lap.

"Mama, I could hear you in my quarters next door, it scared me."

"I'm sorry honey," she said lowly.

"I think you need to talk to someone," said Andrew.

.-.-.-.

The hum of the puddlejumper's engine faded when they landed, the cargo bay door opening. Faith shouldered her pack and carefully picked up a box, saying a brief farewell to her team. She returned to her quarters with the precious artifacts, unloading them. When she began to change out of her field clothes, a tone sounded at the door to her quarters.

"Come in," she said quickly, pulling on her tank top.

In the entryway was Sheppard and he stepped in, watching her dart across the room, gathering her things.

"Sorry it's a mess. I just got back from a mission."

"I saw," he said, smiling. "It's good to see you back in the field. It can get monotonous being cooped here in the city, unable to travel."

"Tell me about it."

He caught her by the hand, causing her to drop the jacket she was holding. He pulled her towards him, his eyes locked with hers. "That's not why I came."

She blinked and shook her head. "For Pete's sake, my big mouthed brother."

"Actually it was your son," he said. "He was studying with one of McKay's scientists and mentioned it. I found it rather worrisome."

"Iwan has been studying with various people to be exposed to different sciences. He's advanced for his age."

"Faith," he interrupted. "Those are some pretty serious nightmares."

"I have been seeing Dr. Cartwright," she said slowly.

"Has it been helping?"

"Not much."

He released her hand and caressed her face, his hands tender and strong. Shivers running through her body, she closed the distance between them. Eagerly he responded, crushing her lips and form to his own. As their kisses intensified, his palms found her hips and they stumbled backwards, hitting the desk. He lifted her slightly over the edge, allowing her to lock her legs around his waist. When his mouth was at her neck and her hands at his belt, there was a sudden crackle over the radio in her earpiece.

"Dr. Stuart."

Ignoring it, she pressed on, until it spoke again. "Dr. Cartwright would like to see you."

Groaning, she stroked Sheppard's chin and kissed him hard. "I have to go."

Smirking, the soldier zipped his pants and followed her out of the room.

.-.-.-.

"Night mom," said Iwan.

"Night sweetie," replied Faith.

The quarters' doors closed behind her and she turned to hers, elbowing the children's book she carried. A shadow fell across hers, and a hand found her shoulder.

"Larson, what're you doing here at this hour?"

He raised an eyebrow, gazing past her towards the bed.

"Sorry, not in the mood," she said, stepping inside.

"That's not what I'm here for. My motive is simply to help you sleep."

"How so?" she said, sliding the doors shut.

"By sleeping in here."

She rolled her eyes. "Andrew."

"He's only trying to help."

"And stop me from interrupting his get lucky time."

She slid off her sweat pants and sat on the edge of the bed, arranging the covers. Larson stepped out of his clothes and came behind her, pulling her sideways. She rested her head on his arm, feeling his chest press close against her back.

"Erne, I can feel your enthusiasm prodding my backside."

His hand slid across her thigh, causing her to jolt. "Fae, I can tell."

As he went beyond, she murmured. "I went further with Sheppard."

He hesitated, his mouth on her ear. "He's after what's between your legs, but I'm after your heart."

"Don't play noble," she said quickly, as they tumbled across the bed.

.-.-.-.

The small green and white phone zipped across the lab tabletop, stopping once it hit an unmoving hand. Slowly Faith reacted, her head raising and staring at the plane. Iwan sidled up to her side, grabbing it with his small hands.

Yawning, she narrowed her eyes. "Shouldn't you be studying mister?"

"I finished two hours ago." He pointed to her watch, then zoomed away with the plane, making whooshing noises.

Faith rubbed her eyes vigorously and closed the lid of her laptop, ushering Iwan out the lab door. They went into the mess hall and sorted through the food, taking a table by themselves. Iwan continued to fiddle with the plane, until Faith scolded him.

"Put it down and eat, or I'll take it away."

"Don't you know it's a crime to separate a pilot from his craft?" said Larson, suddenly sitting next to them. Iwan edged next to the soldier, grinning. Larson pointed to the model airplane. "Now what kind is that?"

"A Boeing 747," said Iwan, rolling his eyes.

Pulling an object from his pocket, he placed it in front of the child. "How about this?"

"A Boeing F/A-18 Hornet," said Iwan excitedly.

"Erne, he's too worked up now to eat."

Larson pushed the tray of food in front of the plane. "Eat now, or no plane later."

"Aw you're uncool like mom," he grumbled, spearing his green beans.

The soldier's shoulders fell for a moment and he put up a finger. "Would an uncool guy take you up into space in a puddlejumper?"

Iwan paused while chewing, then shrugged. "Lt. Colonel Sheppard already did that on board a jumper, F-302, and the Daedalus—"

"Okay, point taken," said Larson disappointedly.

The boy stuffed the rest of his dinner away and grabbed the plane, taking off from the table. Shaking her head, Faith patted Larson on the shoulder.

"Don't feel bad, he likes you a lot. He just looks up to Sheppard."

"Thanks," he said, stroking her cheek and leaning toward her.

She turned her head in the opposite direction, watching Iwan. "Not in front of him."

Larson's fist hit the table. "Goddamn it Faith, why not?"

"Him." She glanced at her son. "I don't need my burdens on him, especially of this context."

"Is that what I am, a burden?" scowled Larson.

The Captain stood up from the table, leaving Faith to wallow in the mess hall.

_June 12_

"I can help you carry that," said Andrew, pulling at the pile of documents Faith carried. She yanked them away and stumbled on the uneven road, leading her brother to catch her. "Easy there."

"I'm fine. I'm fine."

"No, you're not," said Andrew lowly. "You've been chewing my head off all day."

She shuffled her burden into one arm, not looking at him. "The nightmares and Larson...I don't know and Iwan is going through some sort of growth spurt. He's sore all the time."

"I'm starting to think Vogel is in better shape than you, pneumonia or not."

Rolling her eyes, she barged on ahead, leaving the soldiers in her wake. Several blocks down, she had lost sight of them and entered the side of the village square. Out of nowhere, a bullet whizzed by her head, striking the brick of a house nearby.

"What the-?"

A moment later, an arm hooked around her waist and she was pulled into the narrow split between two houses. Sheppard bowed over her, checking for injuries before he aimed towards the rooftops with his weapon.

"We were wondering where your team had gone to," said Faith.

"Exchanging the rest of the stuff, until McKay made a rude comment and pissed 'em off."

"And now they're trying to kill us. Great."

A distant thud echoed along the roadway, the shooter falling from the roof. Sheppard waved her forward and cautiously entered the street, clutching her hand. They had gone five hundred feet when Faith spotted another armed gunman aiming at them. Before Sheppard could notice, she shoved him around the corner of a building, her documents sent flying. A shot hit the spot where they'd stood, inches from Sheppard. The soldier quickly returned fire, killing the assailant. He turned to her, grapsing her face and kissing it soundly.

"It's _my_ job to protect _you_," he choked, exhaling slowly.

"I've taken it upon myself," she said, touching his face.

He paused and troubledly shouldered his gun, peering into the street. They made it to the edge of the village without trouble, and found the other parts of their teams gathered at the puddlejumper. Andrew gripped her tightly and chastised her, until she managed to break away.

They piled into the ship and made for the Stargate, Faith dismally reviewing the handful of items she'd recovered. "This will prove fruitless. Most of the specifications are gone."

"Your life is worth more than those papers," said Sheppard, not looking up from the HUD.

Dr. McKay gave him an odd look and shrugged. "It was a dud anyway. It would've destroyed Atlantis the minute we activated it."

.-.-.-.

The soccer ball rolled along the unpaved bumps in the forest trail, and found its way into the brush. Andrew called out to Iwan, the boy sprinting after the ball. He pulled both boy and ball from beyond the trees, allowing his nephew to continue kicking it along the roadside. Faith sighed in relief, to the notice of Larson walking alongside her.

Slowing his pace slightly, he whispered, "Fae, this is a day off. Relax for once."

"Yes, which makes me wonder why you spent it with us visiting Astaian orphans on Onella," she said, giving him a knowing look.

"You're not that dumb, Dr. Stuart," said Larson, tapping her elbow.

"How'd you get my brother to come with?" she asked.

Larson was silent a moment. "I knew it'd make you and Iwan happy, so I made him in exchange for my joining his team."

"What!" hissed Faith, stopping in her tracks. "He never even bothered asking me."

"Would you really expect him to ask you?"

"Yes if there was an opening."

"Parker's wife Selena had a baby last week. They've been swamped, so he proposed it right away. I seriously doubt you'd have taken it," said Larson.

"You're right, I already took a position elsewhere. But the nerve—"

"Hold it, with whom?"

She gazed at him furtively. "Major Lorne."

"One of the most active teams behind Sheppard? Are you nuts? I'm not letting you do this," he snorted.

"I'm afraid this is where we go our separate ways," said Faith sadly. "I'm not letting you lead me around on a leash anymore. I've tried to negotiate with you, but it keeps coming back to it."

"What leash?"

"This control and yanking ability you have on me. It's not compromise even, just demands," she said, throwing her hands up. "It's not fair to either of us to keep this up."

"I love you Faith," said Larson. "But you keep running away."

"Mom," called Iwan from far in front.

The sound of his young voice broke the tension and Faith strode toward her son, taking him under her arm. The boy turned his head back, staring blankly at the soldier.


	7. Ch 7: Collision

Chapter Seven: Collision

"_Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. We must therefore accept it without complaint when they sometimes collide with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces."_  
-Sigmund Freud

The flickering computer screen faded to black, the movie credits rolling across the monitor. Faith sighed and glanced up at Sheppard.

"That was it? Not scary at all."

"The idea is there. You have to realize the ending means doom for everyone," he said.

"I'm surprised you even saw the ending with what you were doing," said Faith wryly.

She felt his body shift around her again, his knees between hers. She pointed to the bruise on her neck and allowed him to press her against the bed.

"How am I going to explain that hickey?" she laughed.

Sheppard kissed her cheek, murmuring. "One night stand with a mysterious stranger."

"What we've been doing the past month is _hardly _a one night stand."

In the dimness of the room, his eyes locked onto hers, deep and serious. "We already talked about this not being a relationship. Neither of us wanted that."

"Then what is it?"

"A very good thing," he said lowly.

Their bodies entangled in the shadows of the room, taking pleasure from one another. A sudden crackle broke the sinewy bond between them, a faint voice coming from Faith's earpiece on the nightstand. Sheppard moved once more, distracting her completely. Awhile later, they were half-asleep when a tone rang at the door to Faith's quarters. Quickly she pulled on an oversized t-shirt and stumbled to the door. Lanie stood in the hallway, and pushed her way in.

"Fae, why didn't you answer the—oh!"

Sheppard edged up in bed, the blankets around his midsection. Faith pushed Lanie back into the hall, hissing.

"What is it?"

"It's Iwan. He's in the infirmary."

After grabbing more clothes, they rushed to the infirmary unit, Faith sprinting most of the way. She found her brother and Dr. Keller busily talking in front of her son's hospital bed. Both looked up at her arrival, Andrew's face relaxing in relief.

"It's about time."

Ignoring him, she turned to Dr. Keller. "What happened?"

"Nothing life-threatening. Your son broke his collar bone from a hard fall. He'll be stuck wearing a brace for several weeks."

"He fell in the dark while rough housing with Dr. Myers' kids. Apparently they snuck out during their sleepover," said Andrew, crossing his arms.

Faith stayed quiet for a minute before speaking. "I'm disappointed in you, Iwan."

Lanie and Sheppard appeared behind her, nearly out of air. Iwan perked up at seeing the Lt. Colonel, and swung his legs off the bed. Gently his mother pushed him back onto it, her face stern.

"Where are you going mister?"

"Uhm nowhere," mumbled Iwan.

"That's right. Straight to bed for you. And you're grounded."

She escorted him out of the infirmary, saying a tentative good night to the others. Sheppard walked next to her, Iwan trudging solemnly behind them.

"I was afraid this would happen if I didn't pay enough attention to him," she said quietly. "And I went on having my fun when my son was in the care ward. What kind of mother am I?"

Sheppard glanced at her sharply, his hand tightening on hers. "Don't say such a thing. You're one of the most attentive mothers I've seen."

"Maybe I was wrong to think I could afford to have a career, a kid, and a personal life. I've tried coming back to the way things were, and it's not working. Everything screws up," she said, exhaling frustratedly.

"Know that whatever happens between us, won't affect my friendship with your son."

"He needs it. Especially without a leading male figure in his life, he might turn into some psychopathic serial killer," she said, gazing back at Iwan.

"Never," said Sheppard softly. "He has your heart."

_Aram, July 5_

"Pryce, I thought you said this planet was heavily populated. I don't see how anyone could even build a house in these woods," said Hanson.

"Uh Sergeant," said Faith, pointing over his shoulder.

The soldier pivoted and visibly started at the sight. A pathway from the Stargate led across a bridge spanning a wide river. Upon the other side was an industrial city spanning the breadth of a valley. Despite the view, it took them another twenty minutes to reach the city on foot. They were met at the outskirts by a group of men, who escorted them to the center of the city. Lorne was on alert during their walk, holding a quiet conversation on escape with the other soldier. They reached a tall picturesque building, where another group of people awaited them. The soldiers' commander bowed to the arrivals.

"This is the Prime Cabinet of Aram. They wished eagerly to meet with you."

"So we're not under arrest?" asked Lorne.

A stocky man with a long beard stepped forward. "Not at all. You are among friends here, and are guests. We never thought to host Atlantians. Please excuse our hastiness in bringing you here, we have much to discuss."

Faith cautiously stepped from behind Lorne, extending her arm in greeting. The Aram treated them to lunch and spent the following hours presenting their situation to the Atlantians.

"Your arrival has been a sending from the Ancestors," said the Chancellor. "We need no longer fear."

"I'm afraid we don't understand," said Faith. "Why would you be specifically targeted by the Wraith?"

"Because with your help, we can defeat them."

.-.-.-.

Hanson paced back and forth across the office, hands behind his back.

"Sergeant, please sit down."

"I'm sorry, but this sounds like complete hogwash."

Lorne rubbed his chin and strode to Faith's side, where she stood staring out the window. "The whole thing went over my head. Did you get any of it Stuart?"

She snapped from her trancelike state, locking eyes with Lorne. "They proposed giving us a protein that could mentally destabilize a Wraith, in a manner similar to mad cow. This 'prion' they've engineered may theoretically disrupt the bonds between Wraith and their technology before killing them. Such a result would render them helpless."

"_Theoretically_," interrupted Lanie.

"These people can't have technology more advanced than Earth, circa 1930. How could they have something like this?" asked Hanson.

"Don't underestimate them," said Faith. "Look at the Genii, they already have nuclear weapons."

"They proposed giving us this potentially useless thing for higher technology," said Hanson. "I don't see it as fair."

Lanie threw her hands up. "To defend themselves. They're right. If they make a viable drug, the Wraith are going to come by, weapons blazing."

Lorne lowered his eyes. "We have enough to defend Atlantis and when we're in a battle with the Wraith. But Atlantis isn't going to take an entire planet under military protection either. If the Aram start offensive operations against the Wraith, they'll probably get wiped out."

"So their best shot is this prion—"

A small knock sounded at the door, and a short mousy woman popped her head in. "Excuse me, but may I speak to Dr. Stuart and Dr. Pryce?"

"Go ahead," said Lorne, motioning the other soldier from the room.

As the door shut, the woman turned to the scientists. "My name is Einna Rhodes. I was the lead scientist on Program Nemesis, the entity which studies the anti-Wraith protein."

"_Was_?"

"I was removed after I protested with ethical objections."

Faith raised an eyebrow. "What ethical objections?"

"The—the protein was discovered ten years ago in a handful of survivors from a Wraith culling. For some reason, the Wraith had culled them five months before and returned, wiping them out completely. We investigated and narrowed the cause to a protein strain in a series of dead Wraith on the planet. We spent another eight years refining the only way we knew how, evolution. The more it was exposed to the Wraith, the more virulent it became. Dozens of test subjects were fed to the captured Wraith, until our Program escalated to infecting worlds in a certain Hive's territory. It worked."

"You took down an entire Hive?"

"Yes, only by infecting those they fed on. It's not enough to take them out for sure. Our government feels if we have technology to further infect them and to fight, we'll be able to hold out," said Einna, shaking her head.

Lanie stared at the stranger blankly. "You forced an experimental substance on thousands of people?"

"I managed to convince a number of people to sabotage the labs off-world. There are only two left. Dr. Stuart, Dr. Pryce, you must pretend to go along with the Cabinet's demands. It may be the only way to stop this."

Without a further word, she slipped from the room noiselessly.

.-.-.-.

The surgery room opened, Dr. Keller emerging. "The results from the autopsies and samples were conclusive. This prion was present in everything I saw," she said, looking up at Lorne. "I can barely believe it, but this may be the key."

"I don't like thinking handing over weapons and puddlejumpers is going to be the only way to get this."

"They were pretty firm about it," said Faith. She circled the hallway, not looking at them. "The IOA definitively said no weapons proliferation."

Dr. Keller shrugged. "They even confiscated my rubber gloves. They are betting everything on our horse."

"And I don't think they'll take no for an answer," said Hanson.

"Dr. Rhodes warned us they probably won't," said Lanie. "And neither should we. This is a once in a life time opportunity."

Lorne peered at his watch and crossed his arms. "We've been stalling for three days. I don't know how much longer we can keep this up."

An adjacent door opened, a tall older man appearing. "Honored guests, you are requested to make an appearance before the Prime Cabinet."

"Not much longer," muttered Dr. Keller.

Lorne gathered the women, nodding to Faith. "Return to the jumper, radio Atlantis for back-up. Listen to Stuart while Hanson and I are gone."

"You can't—" said Lanie. "Hey Lorne!"

The two soldiers left the area, following the messenger down the corridor. The three women glanced at each other nervously, speechless. Lanie reflexively pulled out her scanner, fiddling with it.

"What do we do now?" asked Keller.

Faith slipped her gun from its holster, glancing at Lanie's screen. "We make a break for it."

"What?"

Lanie slid the scanner in front of Dr. Keller's face. We're about to have company, _lots _of company."

The women slid through an open window, finding a rickety stairwell climbing along the building. They wandered through side streets, avoiding the eyes of the locals.

Lanie stopped them outside a series of warehouses, whispering. "We're being followed."

The scientists took position behind a series of junk piles, leaving Dr. Keller to walk alone. Two minutes later, a woman appeared, heading for the doctor.

"Einna, what're you doing here?" said Faith, lowering her gun. The short scientist hurried towards her, proffering a small tray of vials. "Is that what I think it is?"

Dr. Rhodes smiled gravely. "Yes. You must escape with these, or you will have no chance to save your comrades—"

A loud bang and spatter of red filled Faith's senses, and she screamed. Dr. Rhodes body slumped dead to the ground, a bullet wound in her forehead. Another bullet ricocheted nearby, nearly hitting her. The three women scattered, Faith blindly running into a nearby warehouse. The door slid closed behind her, a pair of hands assaulting her. The vials fell to the ground, all but two shattering on impact. She swung to meet her attacker, and was punched in the face. Momentarily stunned, she was pushed flat, the floor pounding her body. She kicked upward, hitting the stranger in the knee. He stumbled and drew his gun, but she kicked it from his hand and rose to her feet.

She hit him in the face, her hand bursting with pain. She aimed at his stomach, but he yanked her to the ground by the jacket. They tumbled on the concrete, Faith clawing at whatever skin she could. In the midst of their brawl, the man withdrew a knife and raised it towards her. She rolled away, but the knife embedded in her thigh. She knocked his hand away and pulled it out, stabbing at him. A dying gurgle erupted from her attacker as he dropped, the knife in his throat.

She held onto her leg, feeling the blood pooling up. She struggled to stand and fell repeatedly, her body draining of strength. The concrete served for a pillow, her eyesight dimming. In the consuming darkness, a figure appeared. Her arm shook while she reached for him.

"Evan, help."

_Atlantis, July 15_

Faith limped to the stairwell edge, looking down ominously. An arm appeared around her waist, lifting her gently down the steps. Her arm flung out, nearly knocking her and helper over.

"Larson, are you trying to injure me further?"

"No. I'm not the one who got myself stabbed a week before my brother's wedding."

She stepped aside, gazing soberly at the Stargate. "This is weird enough."

"You're the maid of honor, I'm the best man. We're kind of obligated to stand each other."

"Within limits. Just don't get on my back," she said.

"Don't get in my pants."

"And you wonder why you get punched all the time," said Faith, rolling her eyes.

Iwan came up behind them and took his mother's hand, a bag in the other. The chevrons began to light up, causing the two to fall silent. They traveled from the SGC to a small town near Colorado Springs. When the car pulled to a stop, Iwan bolted from the backseat and up the steps of the nearby church, St. Joseph's. Andrew caught the boy and was swinging him from a shoulder when Larson and Faith walked up.

"Iwan," she said. "You do _not _run out of the car while it is running. Understood?"

"Yes."

"You guys ready?" asked Andrew excitedly. He dropped his nephew to the ground, absentmindedly straightening his hair. "I hope this rehearsal goes off without a hitch."

Faith glanced coldly at Larson. "Same."

Each section of people followed the directions of the wedding organizer, taking turns walking in the aisle. At her cue, Faith met Larson at the cross section and turned to walk ahead. Instead, Larson grabbed her around the waist, causing her to balk and back away.

"What're you doing?" she snapped. "We already discussed this. I'm fine on my own."

"No you're not," said Larson, stepping towards her.

She held her hands out at arms-length, preventing him from moving closer. "Ernest, really."

"Uh guys?" hissed Andrew, storming down the aisle. "What's going on?"

"Your maid of honor is not cooperating," said Larson.

"Neither is the best man."

"How can I when you pull this stuff?"

"Just. Stop," said Faith.

She spun on her heel, exiting the church before anyone could think to follow. She made it several blocks, when she was caught by Larson in a park. She attempted to walk faster, but he jumped across her path, blocking her exit.

"Fae, be honest with me. What's going on?" he asked.

"This, us. We're not in each other's lives anymore. We haven't been since Pareil. And you're pushing your way back in. Erne, I can't handle it," she said, choking back tears. "We can't—walk together like that. We aren't going to."

"Faith," he said shortly. "I promise this doesn't mean more than what it is. I know we'll never walk down the aisle together that way. Come here."

He held her close, allowing her to bury her head in his shoulder.

.-.-.-.

The light blurred from white to multi colored as Faith moved, her eyesight slowly readjusting amidst the pounding in her head. She shook her head and held it tenderly, the room beginning to spin. Feeling sick, she wobbled towards the bathroom, and froze. Standing before the mirror was Larson, busy toweling himself dry. Shocked, Faith covered her eyes, nearly falling over.

"What're you doing in my hotel room?"

"…_Mom, do I have to?"_

Iwan looked sourly at the girl sitting opposite their table, and back up at his mother. Faith smiled and nudged him off the chair, watching him politely offer a dance to the flower girl. While they shuffled to the slow song, a figure came up behind Faith. Larson smiled down at her, pulling her up from the chair.

"I saw that, now you have to say yes to me."

She rolled her eyes. "I would since you're being nice today. But with my leg…"

Gently he lifted her onto the tops of his shoes, and walked her onto the dance floor.

"Fixed," he whispered. "You are so beautiful tonight I couldn't resist—"

"Shh Erne," she said softly, turning red. "I think the wedding got to you."

_His brown eyes roved hers. "No, you did."_

Faith's eyes snapped open and she stared at Larson. He smirked and dropped the towel.

"Why do you think? We got pretty hammered last night."

"Oh my god. What have I done?"

"Me apparently."

"Erne, please!" she said, sitting in the doorway.

"You are a floozy when you drink Fae," he said, touching her shoulder.

"Did you mean for this to happen?"

"A bit yeah."

She lowered her head. "Erne, I meant it when I said it was over. I'm seeing someone."

Larson froze. "Who?" he asked. When she didn't answer, his jaw dropped. "I slept with my commanding officer's woman?"

"We're not—it's complicated."

"Still, crap!" Larson lunged into the room, grabbing his clothes and running out.

_Atlantis, July 20_

The moisture from the shower made the shirt and shorts cling to her skin. Protectively Faith adjusted the covering on her exposed wound, wincing at the touch. She popped several pills from a nearby table, medicine that Dr. Keller had given her for her leg. Her back was to the door when it rang.

"Come in."

A moment later she felt an arm around her, causing her to spin around, nearly losing balance. Sheppard caught her, pulling her in.

"It's been too long," he said, mouth trailing near her ear. When they regained their breath, Sheppard held her gently, stroking her unwounded thigh. "I heard about this when I was off world. When I returned, you were already back on Earth."

"I'm okay."

"Faith, your artery was nearly severed. You almost died," he said, eyes stolid. "I don't think I could have handled that too well."

She sighed, her heart rattling in her chest. "I never would want to purposely hurt you John," she said. "But I did something while I was back home—"

"I know about it," he said. Slowly he released her and grasped her by the shoulders. "Captain Larson already told me."

"What? And you're not ready to kill me?"

"I'm disappointed, but not surprised. We're not tied to each other Faith; you still have every right to choose what you want."

She stepped closer to him, her voice nearly a whisper. "I want you, no one else."

"I don't know if this will work, but I am willing to try," he said, kissing her forehead.

"There is no reason on Earth I deserve you," she said quietly.

Sheppard smirked. "We're not on Earth."

.-.-.-.

Faith turned from the corridor into the lab, smiling at the sight. Iwan and his tutor Dr. Graham stood before an Ancient console with several other scientists. The boy pointed to multiple internal structures, naming them and their function.

Dr. McKay pointed to two separate parts. "Okay smart guy, what's the difference between these?"

"The first is a power conduit. The second is a connector for the control crystal interface," said Iwan.

The scientist stared at the boy, then looked up at Faith's approach. "Dr. Stuart, your son…knows things for a seven year old," said McKay.

Faith handed Iwan's tablet to him and ushered him away. She stepped closer to the other scientist. "I know he's special."

"More than that, have you considered having Dr. Keller thoroughly examine him?" McKay said lowly. "I'm no expert on kids, but this isn't normal."

"My son—"

"Dr. Stuart, please come to the infirmary," said a voice suddenly on her earpiece.

Faith narrowed her eyes at McKay and replied, taking Iwan's hand. They exited the lab and walked down the corridors until reaching the infirmary. At her arrival, a nurse ushered her into a side examining area. An injured Larson was being attended to by Dr. Keller. Faith instructed Iwan to wait outside and came to the gurney's edge.

"What did you do?"

Dr. Keller stepped back from stitching a cut on his face. Larson lowered an ice pack over his eye, allowing her to see a black and blue bruise forming.

"Andrew and I had a disagreement."

Faith froze, her mouth widening. "You _told_him?"

She stepped towards him angrily, causing Dr. Keller to get between.

"Your brother isn't in much better shape. They beat the stuff out of each other," said Keller.

"I'm making amends and taking responsibility for my actions Faith," said Larson. "Like you should."

She turned on her heel. "Stay away from my family."

* * *

**Author's Notes**: Evan is Major Lorne's first name. Regarding Faith's decisions in this chapter, she knows she messed up. Despite being back in Atlantis for several months, I think she's still re-adjusting her relations to other people, even her son. In the romance department, she's never had a very normal relationship. Especially when she's dating people inside the SGC. When Faith was talking to Larson about walking together "like that" she was referring to the fact they'd been previously engaged.


	8. Ch 8: Redemption

Chapter Eight: Redemption

"_Seeking to forget makes exile all the longer;  
the secret of redemption is remembrance."  
_-Richard von Weizsaeker

The two women stepped back from the middle of the lab, narrowly missed by a specimen cart wheeling through the chaos. An older balding scientist scolded the man pushing it and impatiently urged the women forward.

"Drs. Stuart and Stuart," he said. "I need you to work with me here."

Lanie raised a finger. "Actually I'm staying Dr. Pryce off paper. Too confusing."

Ignoring the remark, he pushed them into nearby chairs. "I need clarification on the ethical issues you encountered while on P3X-T79."

"We explained it with Dr. Keller in the mission report," said Faith.

"Yes," said Dr. Hemmings. "However none of you mentioned the casualties of the prion's side effects. I'd ask Dr. Keller, but she's busy running the bio-engineering of this drug."

"None," said Faith. "Like we said, you can minimize the possibility of that through direct delivery."

"I'm afraid that's a limited option until we get the new battle cruisers. The Daedalus and Apollo are already taxed with reconnaissance missions."

"New battle cruisers?" said Faith slowly.

Hemmings fiddled with his glasses boredly and picked up a tablet of results nearby. "They accelerated the building rate once Atlantis returned to Pegasus and the additional ZPMs were discovered in April. They're going to be armed to the teeth for special missions like delivering the prion into Wraith systems."

"Andrew's catty lately because Larson decided to request transfer onto one of the new ships," said Lanie, scooting towards Dr. Hemmings interestedly.

"You're joking."

"Nope."

Reactively Faith rose to her feet, alarm in her voice. "I have to talk to him."

"Faith—"

She bolted from the room and along the halls, until she reached the section for soldiers' quarters. She forcibly opened the doors to Larson's room, finding him reclined on a chaise napping. He snapped awake at hearing her approach, anger lighting up his face.

"What're you doing here?" he asked. "You haven't talked to me in three weeks. I think I got the message."

"Lanie told me about your transferring to the new ships," she said quietly. "You can't possibly go through with it."

"Why not?" he said, crossing his legs.

"They're going to be conducting highly specialized and risky missions. I may not be in the best position to say this, but I want you to stay safe."

"I understand your concern, but if you care about me, you'll forget about me," he murmured.

He stepped towards her, gripping her tightly. As he tried to steer her for the door, she pushed back hard. Attempting to free herself, she hit him with her fists. They backed into the wall, struggling against each other's grasp. He shifted his hands to her face, his hold loosening and his forehead touching hers.

"Faith," he whispered. "Being here with you is torture. Not being able to have you makes it hurt worse. I'm sorry."

Her voice caught in her throat. "I know you well enough to realize you won't change your mind."

He nodded, stroking her cheek. She stared at him solemnly and silently turned to the door.

.-.-.-.

The early rays of dawn threw delicate patterns onto the floors of the corridors, splaying across Iwan's face as he ran along. Faith adjusted her pack uncomfortably and slowed her walk.

"Iwan," she called. "Why the hurry this morning?"

"We're doing balloon experiments today," he said, bounding in her direction. "And my birthday is in three weeks."

She took his hand, smiling at him. "Have you decided what you would like?"

"A book on space," he said. "About rockets, planets, and asteroids."

"Then I will consider it," she said, winking.

They came to a stop outside the mess hall, Faith hesitating at the entrance. The smells of breakfast wafted in her direction, an odd scent to them. Her stomach churned uneasily, making her feel nauseated.

"Iwan, go eat with Aunt Lanie."

He peered at her questioningly, frowning. "Mom, you won't eat with me?"

"Sorry kiddo, mom has a mission to go off world now."

He hugged her and ran off towards a table where her sister-in-law sat. Relieved, she took her time getting to the control room. She arrived before her team, spending most of the hour talking to Christina Brown. The others arrived, Lanie taking her aside.

"Why didn't you eat with us?" she asked. "Iwan was upset."

"I'm not feeling too well this week. He'll forget the minute Dr. Graham meets him later."

"But—"

"Hit it Chuck," said Lorne loudly.

Their team emerged through the Stargate on a dry sunbaked planet, bereft of trees. Hanson led them three miles south, where they met the settlements of indigenous tribes. The day grew hotter and longer, until they were soaked with sweat and stripped down in uniform. On their return to the gate, they stopped halfway to rest, the scientists severely lagging behind the soldiers. Faith plopped beside a cactus-like plant, reveling in the minimal shade it provided. Her muscles ached from the persistent digging earlier, and her stomach rattled from hunger. Her mind spun senselessly and she gripped her canteen tightly.

"I'm going to have such a bad burn," complained Hanson.

"Hello skin cancer," said Lanie teasingly.

The brightness of the skin began to fade from Faith's vision, and everything turned black.

.-.-.-.

Faith's eyes shot open, the lights of the infirmary blinding her momentarily. She tried to move, but her stomach cramped in response.

"It's about time," said a voice.

She managed to turn her head, finding Major Lorne sitting at the foot of her bed. Struggling to sit up, he helped lift her against the pillows.

"How long have I been out?"

"A few hours," he said. "I thought I'd pushed you too hard and you had heatstroke."

Dr. Keller appeared behind him, picking up Faith's file and peering at a screen nearby. "Nope, it was a simple case of anemia, though it was aggravated by dehydration."

"Anemia?" said Faith quizzically. "I haven't done much differently lately."

"Well in your state, any changes in eating habits could cause it," said Dr. Keller. "Major, if you could leave us for a while, I need to discuss this with Dr. Stuart."

The soldier nodded and retreated from the room, leaving the women alone.

Dr. Keller looked at Faith concernedly. "We need to talk about your health."

.-.-.-.

"I'll see to it," said Mr. Woolsey.

"Thank you," murmured Faith.

The door swung shut behind her as she exited the office, and immediately bumped into Sheppard. His smile faded at seeing the expression on her face.

"What's wrong? Why were you talking to Woolsey?"

"Not here," she said.

Hurriedly she led him back to her quarters, locking the doors behind him. She breathed heavily and faced Sheppard, her heart thudding madly.

"I put in a request to transfer back to Earth," she said.

He raised an eyebrow, his face scrunching in thought. "Why?"

"I spoke with Dr. Keller the other day," she said, lowering her eyes. "I'm having some health issues, nothing that affects you—"

"Health? Faith, we have some of the best doctors in the universe here. They can take care of you."

"It's not that simple."

"How? What aren't you telling me?" he asked, crossing his arms.

She shook her head. "I can't."

"Can't or won't?"

"Won't," she said, tears beginning to form. "I'm afraid John."

Sheppard neared her, his face hovering by hers. "Let me help you."

She shook her head once more, and buried her head in his chest, sobbing.

.-.-.-.

The faint hum of the scanner filled the silence of the room, calming Faith while she lay on the gurney. Dr. Keller peered at the screen of results, smiling.

"It looks like things are fine. It's a sign that you're feeling better."

"Dr. Keller," called a nurse. "The other team is here."

"Sorry," she said, scrambling from the room. When the doctor rounded the corner, Faith heard, "Rodney, what happened?"

"Ow," yelled McKay. "Watch where you stick that, Dr. Greene."

Curious, Faith put her clothes back on, leaving the confines of the scanning area. She found Ronon, McKay, and Teyla sitting in the next area, being urgently attended to. All had some form of wounds and hastily constructed bandages. Teyla met her eyes knowingly, grimacing when the doctor removed a bullet from her shoulder.

"What happened?" she asked. "Where's John?"

"Dr. Stuart, please return to the scanning station," instructed Dr. Keller.

When she stood in place, Dr. Greene urged her into the next room by force. She paced the room for a half-hour, ears straining to catch sounds of goings on. Lorne appeared around the corner, fully geared from a mission. He nodded to her, urging her forward.

"You need to sit down."

"Major."

"Please?" He waited until she had taken a place on the gurney. "Colonel Sheppard's team was ambushed by dozens of men. McKay swears he saw…that he saw Sheppard get shot in the head. They were forced to retreat without him. Our team and Lamont's went back, and we found nothing. There was no body, no evidence of other people besides Atlantis personnel, and very few weapon fire marks. It's like they imagined the entire thing."

"Then where's John?" she said slowly, grasping the bed edge.

"MIA," said Lorne. "We believe he's dead."

.-.-.-.

The waves rolled far below the balcony, their echoes sounding across the city. Sighing, she breathed in the cool wind and salty air.

"Faith."

Larson stepped onto the balcony, hands in his pockets and head lowered. "I've come to say goodbye."

"This soon?" she said agitatedly.

"Look, my offer still stands. Come with me."

She pivoted towards him, sadness on her face. "I can't. I'd be useless on a ship."

"It's been two months, Fae. He's not coming back," said Larson.

"I'm not—it's not that. I'm transferring back to Earth."

"Why would you do that? There's no one—"

"Erne," she interrupted. "I'm pregnant."

He stood frozen for several moments, his hands clutching the balcony edge till his knuckles went white.

"How far along?" he whispered.

"Nearly three months."

The soldier lost his composure, his eyes wide. Faith gazed at him warily, backing away slightly.

"The father?" he croaked.

"I can't tell—"

"It's alright," he said. Cautiously he picked up her hand, clutching it tightly. "I'll change my transfer to the SGC. I'm going to take care of you, _both _of you."

.-.-.-.

"Dr. Stuart, you might find this of interest," said Lieutenant Howard, handing her a book.

Faith glanced at the numbers listed in rows and columns, translating slowly.

"It's no wonder these people are malnourished," she said. "Sixty percent of their yield is unequally traded."

"So we're going to be feeding a problem," said Larson, hands on his hips. "Why did we take a mission here if we're not helping?"

She motioned to the big crates standing nearby. "Erne, I didn't drag farm equipment all the way from Earth for nothing."

"I think that's all we've been doing the past month, since you guys joined," said Dr. Madison.

Larson rolled his eyes. "You asked for this. I'm not taking a pregnant woman near gun wielding aliens."

They spend the morning teaching the natives to use the tools and methods they'd ferried from Earth. Larson's team had gone on a dozen other similar missions, since he and Faith had transferred to the SGC. When the sun was high in the sky, they paused to rest, taking refuge in a local house. A teenage girl served them cool drinks, her demeanor quiet and polite. As Faith reached for her cup, it began to rattle violently on the table, falling off and breaking. Alarmed, the team got to their feet, peering at the windows.

"Is that a—"

"Goa'uld cargo ship," finished Dr. Madison.

"No," said the girl softly. "It is the Lucian Alliance. They are here to collect the bounty of our reserves. They are responsible for our starvation."

"We're getting out of here," said Larson.

Stealthily their team exited the building, making their way along the street. Halfway across the fields, they spotted a group of armed soldiers coming in their direction.

"Run for it!" commanded Lieutenant Howard.

Rounds of fire came in their direction, edging closer with every step. Dr. Madison was hit first, falling injured to the group with a bullet in his back. Larson and Howard lifted him between themselves, urging Faith ahead. She made it to the DHD first, beginning to dial Earth. Larson came up behind her a second later, realizing too late there was a soldier stationed behind the Stargate.

The Lucian soldier aimed at Faith and fired, to stop her. Larson knocked her out of the way, the shot hitting him in the chest. Faith fired at the enemy, and killed him before kneeling next to Larson. His eyes rolled up in his head, his blood flowing freely. He choked her name and became still, his eyes glassy. Her wails filled the air, deep and sorrowful.


	9. Ch 9: Darkness

Chapter Nine: Darkness

"_We stumble and fall constantly even when we are most enlightened.  
But when we are in true spiritual darkness, we do not even know that we have fallen_."  
-Thomas Merton

"Mom."

A hand ferociously shook her shoulder, knocking the blanket off. Drowsily Faith rolled over, eyeing Iwan suspiciously.

"What honey?"

"Uncle Andrew is at the door."

Exhaling frustratedly, she heaved herself off the couch and straightened her hair. She found her brother on the front stoop, an awkward expression on his face.

"Fae, why're you still living here?"

"It's my house entirely now," she snapped. "If that's all you came here to say, then go away."

She started to close the door, but Andrew jammed his body inside. Defeated, she let him in, urging Iwan upstairs.

"No one has seen you since the funeral at Arlington," he said. "You turn up there pregnant, don't say a thing, and then take a month's leave."

"Andrew," she interrupted. "What do you want?"

He sealed his lips for a moment, gazing at her. "I need you to come back to Atlantis."

"Not happening."

"Hold on, let me explain," he said, stepping in front of the door. "They found Lt. Colonel Sheppard."

Her breathing stopped completely, her eyes wide. "What?"

"He's alive Faith, and asking for you."

.-.-.-.

Dr. Keller maneuvered towards the pair, pointing at the list of results on the computer screen. "Dr. Stuart, I wouldn't even be involving you if not for the circumstances. This could get tricky."

"I'm not sure I fully understand," said Faith. "He somehow lost his entire memory when he disappeared. He only retains knowledge through when he was found by Sergeant Becker's team with our allies on ML2-8QR. How can this have happened?"

Keller sighed. "He has an elevated white count, so it's possibly an infection that may've spread to his brain. He doesn't completely trust us, and he's being uncooperative with most tests."

"Where do I come in?" asked Faith.

"He was found with only his uniform and a photo of you in his pocket. He insisted he would cooperate only after meeting you. Given your prior relationship, this may rejuvenate his memory."

Faith raised an eyebrow, pointing to her protruding belly. "I don't think hitting him with emotional trauma is going to help."

"We're avoiding that for now," said Keller. "Just act platonic."

Glancing at the surveillance screen showing Sheppard, she shook her head.

"I don't think I can do this."

"I'll be right here," said Andrew, patting her shoulder.

"That _doesn't_ help."

She fiddled with the collar of her shirt and smoothed her hair. Cautiously she walked into the other infirmary area, her hands shaking. Sheppard sat on the bed facing the wall, turning suddenly at hearing her approach. His hard features softened, curiosity overwhelming him. Slowly she approached, allowing him to fully see her changed frame. His eyes flickered at the sight, his mouth opening.

"Hello," she said gently.

He rose from the bed and came to her, reaching in her direction. When they were inches from one another, he caressed her cheek. Puzzled, he studied her features, brushing them with his fingertips. Faith smiled warmly at him, and he backed away slightly.

"I have seen your face before…who are you?"

Faith's hope plummeted into her stomach and she frowned. "I—my name is Faith Stuart. I'm a very good friend of yours."

Sheppard paused, removing a crumpled photograph from the front pocket of his shirt. It was a picture of them posing on a beach, both wet from a day of swimming.

"I believe you," he said, folding it away. "I hate not remembering. It's there in the back of my mind, but it's like a dream I can't grab."

Faith took his hands, grasping them tightly with her own. "It will be alright. You can trust me John, and everyone else on base."

Nodding, he squeezed back, gazing at her steadily. "Help me remember."

.-.-.-.

"I think I can handle it McKay," said Faith.

She glanced backwards at John sitting readily next to the scanning station. McKay shifted uneasily, looking slightly green at the needles and test tubes. Ronon urged McKay out of the doorway, nodding to Keller.

"I'll stay," he grunted.

The doctor motioned McKay away from the area and brought the others in. They sat nearby through several procedures, having Dr. Keller explain each one to Sheppard. By the end of the afternoon, Keller sat them down to talk, her expression grim.

"I have good news and bad news," said Keller. "The bad news is I found remnants of an inert virus in Lt. Colonel Sheppard's blood. It may be responsible for the dilemma going on his brain. There is residue in his temporal and hippocampus sections of his brain, composed of a protein structure I've never seen before. It's inhibiting his long term memory."

"I don't like the sound of this," said Faith.

"What does this all mean?" asked Ronon.

"Access to his memories is blocked. If I can figure out a way to remove the proteins, he should return to normal. That's the good news."

"Then kill it?" said Ronon.

"Not that easy. It will take time."

Sheppard stood up suddenly, gazing perturbedly at the scans of his brain. "If I have to relearn myself, then I better start right away."

He urged Faith to her feet. "Please take me to my quarters."

"Colonel—"

"Doc, we have plenty of time to work on it," interrupted Sheppard.

Shortly afterward, they entered Sheppard's quarters, Faith guiding him around alone. He shuffled through his belongings nonchalantly, bemused by his collection of music, documents, and pictures.

"I don't have much of a life do I?" he said abruptly.

Faith crossed her arms, smiling. "Atlantis is your life, you're invaluable to her."

"Not much good at the moment," he said, tossing a book onto a chair. "You seem to be a part of my life."

"We're just friends, John," she said quickly. Unwittingly she turned red and lowered her eyes.

Sheppard stepped towards her, focusing on her face. "I don't think that for a second. I find it hard to believe I'm just friends with such a woman."

He came closer, locking his hands around her waist.

"John."

"The way you look at me, it's more than affection."

As he gripped her righter, she struggled against him, making him bring her closer. "The last day I saw you, we fought. I told you I was transferring to Earth. I left when you disappeared," she said.

"But you came back for me?" he asked.

Her hands shaking, she murmured, "Yes."

"That's all that matters to me."

Sheppard caught her lips, pressing against her tenderly. Slowly she responded, entangling her hands in his hair. Immediately she broke from him, severing their physical connection.

"I can't do this, it's not right."

"Because of the baby?" he whispered.

When she stared at him blankly, he shook his head. "I may have lost my memory, but I'm not blind. Is it mine?"

Faith stumbled back, retreating towards the door. "No—I can't tell. I'm sorry, but I have to go."

She left him standing alone in the doorway of his quarters, gazing off into the hallway confusedly.

.-.-.-.

The clatter of silverware and voices filled the dining hall, nearly drowning out Iwan. The boy pointed enthusedly at a corner, where Sheppard sat with his friends Teyla, Ronon, and McKay. Before Faith could restrain him, Iwan scrambled to the tableside, grinning.

"Hi Colonel, it's nice to see you again," he said.

The soldier looked at him expressionlessly, until Faith came up behind. She nodded to Sheppard politely, mouthing Iwan's name. In response, he patted the boy's shoulder.

"It's good to see you too—Iwan."

Her son slid into a chair next to McKay, ignoring him. "Have you seen the two new battlecruisers?"

"No I haven't," said Sheppard. "Are they impressive?"

"Iwan," interrupted Faith. "Let's leave John in peace for lunch."

"But!"

Sheppard pulled another chair beside them, touching Faith's leg lightly. "There's room."

Hesitantly she took the chair, remaining mostly silent through their meal. Teyla and Ronon eventually left, leaving the four behind. Iwan continually chattered about the ships, until Faith spoke again.

"Why have they brought the new ships so soon?"

McKay pushed aside his try, and leaned in. "Project Nemesis has been working since it was initialized a month ago. They need the new ships now to complete hit and run missions at the Hive ships."

"I hope to god this hasn't been in vain," replied Faith. "So many died in its testing on Aram."

"I would like to see the new ships," said McKay. "I heard they better integrate Asgard systems into ours."

"They're on the Northwest pier," said Iwan proudly.

"Let's go down there," said Sheppard.

McKay looked at his watch and frowned. "Damn, I have to submit that field report. Fill me in."

The trio walked together through the corridors, Iwan unwittingly filling the stillness between them. At the pier edge, Iwan raced ahead towards the ships, staring up in awe.

He circled the bottoms of the ships, yelling back to them. "They are named Talus and Callisto."

Sheppard watched bemusedly, his fumbling with his pockets.

"I never apologized for the other day," whispered Faith.

"I'm sorry for pushing you," said Sheppard. "As the situation stands, you are best left to manage things with your child."

She sidled beside him, reaching surreptitiously for his palm. She squeezed it firmly, tilting her head upward. "John, you were correct in assessing that we were involved. We both denied it being a relationship and maintained independence."

"I understand. I will support you, whatever you need."

"As will I."

He bent downward, resting his forehead against hers, their eyes locked.

.-.-.-.

"I can vaguely recall I don't like this movie," said Sheppard, wincing as the alien exploded onscreen.

"I think I'm going to have nightmares for a week," said Faith, reaching for the wireless mouse. She flicked the media player closed and bent back in the bed, leaning against Sheppard. "We should give up. The last three were bad too, and it's midnight."

"We don't have to call it a night," he said, raising an eyebrow.

Cautiously he tightened an arm around her, sliding close. The darkness of the room encompassed them, the computer shutting off in the background. She let it remain there, effectively removing the barrier she'd placed two weeks prior. She twisted in his direction, bringing her face nearer. Quietly she reached for his cheek, stroking it. Suddenly he closed the gap between them, bringing her against him. They spent several hours reveling in each other, the walls breaking between them. At its height, they stilled, wrapped in each other's arms, breathing in sync.

"I love you," she said inaudibly.

He kissed her hard, sliding his hands onto her. "I want you."

She repositioned herself, tumbling with him on the bed. At dawn, the first rays of light strayed through the window of Faith's quarters. The bed shifted noticeably, Sheppard perching on the bed's edge, shielding his face. Roused by the movement, Faith sat up uneasily, eyeing Sheppard. His fingers slid into his hair, digging into his scalp.

"What's wrong?"

He lowered his head to his knees, his breathing labored. "It's mine, isn't it?" he said huskily.

"What?"

"I remember everything now," said Sheppard. "You started showing signs after we started sleeping together again. How did this happen?"

She gripped his shoulders, covering his back. "I was unaware Dr. Keller had put me on antibiotics for my leg. It interfered with my control methods."

"How far along?"

"Six months. It's yours."

Sheppard straightened his posture, wrapping an arm around her to touch her belly. "You don't know how much this changes—"

"John," she said. "You just got your memory back, calm down. We should see Dr. Keller."

He sighed and let go of her, reaching for his pants. "Let's."

.-.-.-.

The light from the scanner vanished, the machine returning to its starting position. Dr. Keller turned the screen towards faith, smiling. On the monitor was a preview of the fetus, curled inside her belly. Faith quickly shut her eyes.

"I don't want to know the gender."

"How will you know whether to buy blue or pink booties?" teased Keller.

"I didn't get any of that with my son," said Faith wistfully.

"I'm sorry that was taken from you."

"Let me go!"

A loud crash sounded in the next room, causing Keller to run from the scanning area. Faith lowered her shirt and slid down, approaching the entryway anxiously. Several men including Ronon were scrambling in the midst of the infirmary, attempting to restrain a rogue figure. Dr. McKay limped helplessly, pulling himself to a nearby bed. Ronon pulled out his stun weapon, shooting the assailant until he hit the floor with a thud. They moved aside, lifting the still form onto a gurney. Faith gasped, seeing Sheppard lying unconscious.

"What've you done to him?"

Dr. Keller left McKay's side, checking Sheppard's pulse and vital signs.

McKay stumbled over, holding his bleeding face and pointing to Sheppard. "He attacked me. Just because I told him there must be something wrong with his brain. He can't activate Ancient technology anymore."

"That can't be possible."

Frowning, Keller motioned to nearby nurses, directing them into the next area. "Get him under the scanner right away. I want to see his brain."

Faith was ordered into the waiting area, where she stood for a half hour before Keller returned. She shook her head, grimacing.

"It's completely taken over his neural network. It's not only blocking synapses, it's over-riding them."

Weak-kneed, Faith sat in the nearest chair, shaking. "How? Three weeks ago you said it had mostly dissolved."

"It's like the virus reactivated and increased exponentially. I don't know how we're going to fight this."

"Can I see him?"

"I'd advise against that. He's awake, but restrained."

"Please."

She followed Keller into the infirmary, where they had Sheppard restrained hand, head and foot to a bed. He turned his head slightly when they entered.

"John," said Faith. "What is going on?"

His eyes narrowed, his face becoming hard. "My name isn't John."

* * *

**Author's Note: **GASP? Things aren't as they seem and are as they seem. Dun dun dun.


	10. Ch 10: Lost

A/N: I went ahead and closed this story awhile back, not realizing I'd missed posting this in between chapter. Apologies to readers of this story. I've fixed it and finished Cold Moon in its entirety.

Chapter Ten: Lost

_"Faith means living with uncertainty—  
feeling your way through life,  
letting your heart guide you  
like a lantern in the dark."  
_-Dan Millman

Slowly Faith approached the bed, startling Dr. Keller. She gave the other woman a reassuring look and sidestepped Ronon. Warily Sheppard watched her, his eyes zealous.

"What should I call you?" she asked, an edge to her voice.

"Kalan," said Sheppard. "It's what the people on the moon of Nuar called me."

She repeated it and laid a hand in his. "Is this the place where we found you? Do you remember anything?"

"I have full access to my memories, and I am appalled by them," he said. "I no longer wish to adhere to my old life. I am sick of war."

"Perhaps that can be arranged," said Faith.

Dr. Keller lost her composure. "Uh no. He just cold-clocked two of his friends."

Rolling her eyes, Faith quickly undid one of the wrist restraints, allowing Sheppard to sit-up. He edged towards her, causing Ronon to pull out his weapon once more, aiming it at him. Ignoring him, Faith learned in, kissing Sheppard vehemently. His hand tangled in her hair and he whispered to her.

"Help me and come with me."

"Yes," she said breathlessly. She leaned back, gazing at him ardently.

"Dr. Stuart, may I speak with you?" Keller pulled her into another room, out of earshot of the others. "Have you lost your marbles? That is no longer Lt. Colonel John Sheppard."

"I'm not stupid," said Faith. "I know he's been compromised by a foreign entity. But knowing it's in his body, it can withstand any amount of excising information, unless it's done in a different way."

"You think cajoling him with fake attitudes will work?" said Keller, raising an eyebrow. "I doubt he'd fall for that either."

"I have one advantage. I'm carrying his child, and he knows it."

"You believe this will do what exactly?"

"Tell us details; maybe lead us to the cause, so we can kill it. I'll be damned if I'll let this child grow up without a father."

They returned to the infirmary, finding Sheppard unrestrained and guarded. Dr. Keller instructed for all weapons to be lowered.

"Dr. Stuart convinced me you're not a threat. Any shenanigans and you'll be placed in confinement."

Sheppard slid from the head and smirked at Faith. He allowed her to guide him from the room, watching the surprised guards with amusement.

"You have a way with people," he said lowly. "How did you convince them?"

"Keller only found higher brain activity than normal in your test result. I told her it confirms whatever you have acquired is beneficial," she answered. "Every bit of you is in there, I can see it."

He nodded politely, his speech inaudible. "You may prove useful alive."

.-.-.-.

The music played softly in the background, drowned out by the pillow over Faith's head. A tone sounded at the entrance to her quarters, making her shoot up in bed.

"Ow," she muttered, grasping her spinning head. "Come in."

Sheppard strode to the bed, touching her leg. "What's wrong?"

She pushed the pillow away and winced. "Just a bad headache. You seem rather grumpy too."

He frowned. "My request for leave was denied. They said I'm a security risk."

"That's too bad," she said falsely, reaching for his hand.

He placed his hands on her shoulders, rubbing them gently. She leaned her frame against him, sighing pleasedly. He continued the motions, lulling her into unconsciousness. After she fell asleep, Sheppard crept towards her belongings. He pulled out her hand gun and smiled darkly. He pocketed his plunder, leaving Faith perfectly unaware.

Early evening, the door to her room opened, Andrew storming inside. "FAITH STUART!"

She jolted awake, nigh falling out of bed as she struggled with her sheets. Andrew hoisted her from the bed.

"Colonel Sheppard, or shall I say his foreign entity stole your weapon while you were sleeping, kidnapped Mr. Woolsey, and attempted to escape in a puddlejumper."

Freeing herself, she asked exuberantly. "Andrew, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Sheppard tried to escape Atlantis using Mr. Woolsey as a hostage."

"Oh my god." She stumbled across the room, digging through her uniform. "It's really gone. What in god's name got into him? And how can they fix this?"

"That's what Dr. Keller and Mr. Woolsey want you to find out," said Andrew.

.-.-.-.

The hum of the holding cells dimly filled the corridor. Faith rounded a corner, finding two armed soldiers on duty. They moved across the path once Faith appeared. She handed the nearest one a signed note, smug from the soldier's expression.

"Mr. Woolsey is permitting _conjugal_ visits?"

They made brief radio contact with the tower and let her beyond. "He hasn't said anything in two weeks. You won't get anything out of him."

Sheppard stood attentively at their approach, vehement when the guard allowed Faith into the confinement area. When the door closed behind her, she shooed the soldier and turned to Sheppard.

"Why are you here?" he said slowly.

She cut him off with a kiss, stumbling backwards onto the bench. He pulled her into his lap, legs on either side.

"I managed to convince Woolsey you'd cooperate with creature comforts."

He balked and tried to push her away, but she clung to him, pressing against his ear. "I am here to free you. I will forgive you if you take us with."

"How?" he whispered.

She guided his hand beneath her skirt, where a stunner was strapped to her thigh. He kissed her again, his hand delving further into her clothes. After a half hour, the soldier returned to find them sweaty and disheveled.

He opened the door and urged Faith towards him. "Your time is up."

Faith stepped aside from Sheppard, allowing him to shoot and stun the soldier. They scrambled from the cell, and rounded the corner, taking out the second guard. They slinked across the city, knocking out anyone they encountered. They entered the hanger and prepared a ship, quickly dialing the gate and maneuvering into position. It sprung into the gateroom, sustaining minor damage from gunfire as it entered.

After the ship emerged, they immediately dialed a second planet. They landed near the Stargate, proceeding on foot into a wooded area nearby. They had passed into a ravine, when gunfire began to erupt around them. Heavily armed figures appeared, running and pointing weapons in their direction. Faith screamed and ducked behind Sheppard.

The soldier walked towards the figures, waving his hands. "Is this really necessary? Everything is almost complete."

A blue light engulfed them, and they found themselves inside a building. Faith stumbled, nervously examining the surroundings. They stood in a laboratory, the walls thick and windowless around them, with continuous aisles of medical type equipment. A wizened old man with a long beard and beady eyes entered.

"Welcome back!" he said raspily.

Sheppard lowered his head in obeisance and murmured incoherently.

"Who are you?" asked Faith, hiding her anxiety.

"I see you bought a gift," said the older man.

He stared at Faith for a moment, furtive and cold. Numbness settled in the scientist's spine, raising goose bumps on her skin. The odd man moved towards her, and Sheppard stepped away.

"I am Kalan."

"I don't understand—"

"Make yourself at home," he said, motioning to a nearby chair.

Halfway into the seat, he twisted one arm behind her. The man shifted her jacket sleeve up, yanking at her wrist.

"First, you must deactivate this beacon."

The bracelet and embedded tracking device smashed easily beneath his foot. Sheppard forcibly dragged Faith away, pinning her to a nearby table. Metal restraints clinked firmly around her limbs, immobilizing her. The beloved familiar face hovered torturously close to her, refusing to directly look.

"I never expected you to betray John," he said lowly. "Are the Atlantians following us?"

Faith gazed at him in sadness, her lips sealed shut.

Kalan clucked his tongue, urging Sheppard from her. "Amusing and ineffective. I am afraid her mate's feelings have compromised you, like the other hosts. We will not have this problem next try, thanks to your gift."

He ripped Faith's shirt in one motion, exposing her abdomen. His withered hand stroked the swollen belly possessively, making her shiver in disgust. He took out a large needle, stabbing Sheppard in the arm. The soldier collapsed, allowing Kalan to clamp a mechanical collar around his victim's neck.

"This will solve any problems until we finish."

Sheppard shuddered, beginning to convulse violently. Faith screamed, earning a smack from Kalan.

"I couldn't be more pleased you fell for our trap. It will be easier if you don't fight. Your mate is gone; I destroyed his mind at capture," said Kalan.

She stared at him in horror. "What are you?"

"A subsister. My existence is immortal through the persistence of my memory. As a host body dies, I prepare a new one for receiving a copy of my mind, my being. Once I overtake the host, I can survive another lifetime. Passing my ever expanding consciousness to each clone."

"That's impossible."

"Is it? I have lived four hundred years," said Kalan, pointing at Sheppard. "He was to be the next one, though he always fought me. His strength allows him to survive the final process, unlike some of the others. But he is imperfect compared to what he brought me."

He caressed her belly, kicking the soldier away. Eager, he passed a scanning device across her frame, smiling darkly. The outline of a fetus appeared on the screen, a portion of the image visible to Faith. The baby's leg kicked wildly on screen, and she felt the flutter in her stomach.

"A boy. A perfect new host."

Faith's breath caught in her throat, overwhelmed with fear. "NO!"

"Don't fret, he will never know," said Kalan. "I will."

He pressed a button on the device, causing the collar to shock Sheppard. The soldier rolled over uneasily, attempting to find his legs. Kalan repeated it several times, until they stood side by side.

"Very good. Do as you are told and I will not terminate you. I may need you after all, if this procedure fails." Kalan patted the screen image thoughtfully, studying Faith. "The same for you."

Sheppard approached the table step by step, his form unsteady. The other man circled the room several times, gathering miscellaneous equipment from nearby shelves. Faith shifted against the restraints, her palms open pleadingly. Her gaze bored into his unseeing face, whispering while he bent threateningly over her.

"John, please help me. You can beat this, beat him."

He thrust both hands around her throat, steadily increasing the pressure. She choked on tears, her sob caught in her voice.

"John," she gasped. "Our son-needs you."

The hazel orbs finally met her blue ones, his features tightening. Pausing, he loosened the restraints on each side.

"You," he growled, nodding in Kalan's direction.

His features slackened once more, and he swung away. The other man strolled to the table, carrying a tray of instruments in his arms. He peered at her expectantly, and Faith jerked her arm loose. She struck the tray, causing it to spill. The tools tumbled down, allowing her to grab a scalpel and stab her captor. He hollered and struck her hard. She jumped clear and simultaneously kicked him. He toppled her, knocking them both to the floor. Clawing at his face, she attempted to wiggle from his hold.

Kalan grasped an errant needle, raising it in triumph. It stopped mid-air, a boot catching him in the face. He snapped backward from the momentum, allowing Faith to free herself. Sheppard aimed repeatedly at the man's upper torso, bones crushing beneath his foot. A guttural groan sounded among the cries of pain.

"I win."

Kalan collapsed lifeless on the floor, sending a nauseating lurch into Faith's stomach. Suddenly, every muscle in Sheppard's form went rigid and began to twitch. The device around his neck beeped several times. Faith froze and her breath became shallow in response.

"John?"

Slowly he turned to her, his eyes narrowing. "My name isn't John."

He tightened his fists, approaching threateningly step by step. Faith pushed herself feebly across the floor, her blood chilling at the sight. The wall met her backside, stopping her progress. Kneeling down, he stroked her cheek. Streams of tears coated his fingers as he reached for her neck once more.

"I love you John," she whispered, closing her eyes.

A thunderous crash echoed throughout the facility, a beam of light hitting Sheppard. He fell, revealing the group of people stampeding through a nearby wall breach. The blasted hole was wide enough for everyone to enter. Sheppard and Faith's teams surrounded the pair on the floor, Dr. Keller urgently examining the survivors. Ronon and McKay pulled the limp soldier upward, checking him over.

The doctor asked worriedly. "Dr. Stuart, are you alright?"

Faith nodded stiffly, unable to respond properly. Lorne squeezed next to them, patting her shoulder.

"It's okay, we're going home."

Major Lorne wrapped both arms around her protectively, carrying her over the debris and towards the exit.

.-.-.-.

The infirmary lights momentarily blinded Faith as she woke. A hand grasped her shoulder lightly, Keller standing next to her impatiently.

"Sorry, but this is the last night you can sleep here. It's not helping either of you."

Faith studied Sheppard's form on the bed next to her. He remained in the same position, stiff and pale.

"I can't help it," she said quietly. "Was there any change?"

Keller checked a nearby screen, shaking her head. "No. I am not reversing his induced coma unless he makes progress. At this rate—"

"So, I might not be able to say goodbye?"

"His body is fighting itself and the foreign matter in his brain. I don't think he can keep it up much longer," said Keller.

The women lapsed into silence, the doctor repetitively looking at vital sign displays and avoiding eye contact.

"Please let me know when the time comes," whispered Faith.

"Absolutely."

Easing from the chair, Faith spotted Teyla in the entryway listening. Her face was sorrowful as she observed them.

"I will not give up while McKay and Keller keep searching for a cure," said Teyla.

"Neither will I," said Faith, standing by her. "But I can't make it harder on Iwan. He was upset when Captain Larson died, and he is much closer to Sheppard."

"I think you need to take time for yourselves," said Keller. "Go eat something."

Teyla and Faith exited the wing, aiming for the mess hall. They glanced uneasily at each other throughout the walk, an anxious stillness between them.

"My son Torren understands the severity of the situation. It is hard on him too," said Teyla.

"How's the rest of your team taking it?" asked Faith.

"Quite afflicted. " Teyla grimaced. "McKay won't stop working and Ronon avoids the issue. I'm not much better. And you two?"

"He's fine, but I am destroying myself over the fact I made him worse," said Faith, stopping in her tracks.

Teyla firmly gripped the woman's elbow. "Do not say that. We cannot blame ourselves for these things happening. My only regret? He was captured by that madman because I ran in fear during combat."

"You did the right thing. John saved you, and intended to give himself if necessary. I pray he is rewarded for his actions with survival."

They entered the mess hall, finding McKay and Ronon seated near the windows. As they took adjoining seats, Iwan and Dr. Graham made their way to the table.

"Hello," said Iwan. "How is John?"

His forlorn face searched hers, and she tried to avoid the look passing between the adults. She urged him into a chair, and Ronon placed a dish before the boy.

"Not good Iwan. He is fighting a very hard battle," said Faith.

"Dr. Keller is doing everything she can," said Teyla.

Iwan bit his lip, staring at the table. "But it isn't working?" he murmured.

"We'll see," said McKay. "I'm working on it too."

Graham frowned, motioning to Faith. "What about you know?"

"What about it?" replied Faith slowly, lifting an eyebrow.

"Well, Lt. Colonel Sheppard is the father—"

"Where did you hear that?" she interrupted.

Ronon pointed to his right. "McKay couldn't keep it to himself."

McKay turned bright red and shrugged helplessly. The group finished eating, and Faith returned with Iwan to his quarters. Her son remained mute, until she tried to draw him out with games. He blankly gazed at the pieces on the board, and finally Faith lowered her cards.

"Alright sweetie, out with it. I know you want to talk."

He slid from his sea and climbed into her lap, grasping her lightly. His head lay over the top of her belly as she held him.

"Momma?"

"Yes Iwan?"

The boy studied her jacket, playing with the zipper. "Is my brother going to lose his father too?"

Reactively her muscles tightened, and she gripped him closer. "I really don't know. I am putting my heart on John living. Sweetie, your father isn't lost, he is always there watching over us."

"That's not very fair," said Iwan. "I still see dad, but I am sad anyway because he's gone away. All three of us will be sad if John goes away. Unlike dad, we can't see him ever again if he does."

"I would be very sad," said Faith softly, stroking his hair. "I love all of you very much."

Iwan struggled upward in her lap, latching her arms around her neck. His eyes gazed at her eagerly.

"I make you happy again momma."

She smiled and kissed his forehead. "I am proud to be your mother."


	11. Ch 11: Closed Circle - Epilogue

**Author's Note: **This is the final chapter of Cold Moon. It took a while to complete since I moved to Europe. Enjoy!

Chapter Eleven: Closed Circle

"…_the human spirit, imitating the motion of the stars,  
must follow a curve that brings it back to its point of  
departure...to close a circle."_

-Charles-Pierre Baudelaire

The dimness of sunrise permeated the windows in a cool blue, chasing her shadow across the corridors. Her steps were uneven, changing with the constant variability of her stride. The night's oblivion swirled in her head, the hopeless nightmare threatening remembrance. Faith paused at the hall corner, swiveling helplessly.

_Which way? You can't torture yourself by going there._

Her feet moved in rebellion, leading to the infirmary entrance. She noiselessly made her way into the patient wing, which she found almost empty. Beneath the ambient room glow, a lone bed remained occupied. Faith's eyes widened at the sight, her heart faltering. Her son was kneeling on the bed with Sheppard's prone form.

Iwan's small hands encompassed the soldier's forehead, a faint luminosity in his fingers. His head bowed lower in concentration, attention fixed on the man's face. His arms began to shake with fatigue, his body tense from stress. Faith beelined to the bed.

"Iwan? What on Earth are you doing?"

_The grey eyes gazed at her somberly, the light from his palms growing…_

Blood hampered her lips as she tried to form words. The edges of her vision were dull, shrouding the scene before her. The man's gaze stirred a challenge to stay awake, to overcome the wrenching pain in every inch of her body.

_I want to live. I have not fulfilled my existence; I have no one to pass life onto._

The brown haired head returned to Corporal Damon's crumpled figure on the ground, light seeming to flow from him. The brightness of the room began to darken, renewed stabs of pain overwhelming Faith. She groaned helplessly, fully capturing the healer's attention. The man left the other casualty, renewing his focus on her. An intense surge formed between them. Numbness began seeping into her muscles, allowing some relief.

"Sláne! What are you doing? This one is about to go," cried Leitha, dashing across the room.

He placed both hands on Faith's belly. "I can't save them both, but I can save her."

Faith locked gaze with him, begging for life. The burden on her body lifted, disappearing in a flood of brightness.

"Áveo, dormáta."

_The light enshrined all thought, overwhelming but reassuring…_

"Wake up!" said Iwan, his frame trembling with effort and soaked in sweat.

Faith caught her son as he tumbled backwards, unable to support himself any longer. Simultaneously, blips echoed throughout the area, the monitors surging with activity. Sheppard's eyes snapped open and he jostled in bed, significantly startling the pair. He stared at them in shock, observing Faith cradling Iwan.

"John," said Iwan weakly, smiling.

Sheppard extended an arm to them in wonder, attempting to speak. "I—you did it kid," he said. "Somehow you did it."

The empty void in her stomach disappeared, Faith taking his palm. Their attentions mingled, the long lost depth of his hazel orbs returning.

"Is it you?" she whispered.

A clatter sounded at the entrance, Keller bolting through the doors.

"It changed! And you're—" she stammered, slapping a monitor enthusiastically. "One brainwave, no longer two. He's won. How did this happen?"

Keller paused, glancing at Iwan. Seeing his pallor, she bent over reactively. "Easy there." Carefully, the women placed him into a nearby bed, allowing the doctor to examine him. "Iwan happened. He has the ability to heal."

Wide eyed, Keller stared at Sheppard. "This explains a few things."

"I think I owe someone a trip to Disney World now," said Sheppard lightheartedly.

Iwan laughed, urging his mother away in appeasement. "I am okay momma."

A flood of joy passed into Faith, and she hugged him tightly. Sheppard reached to her, smirking. He clutched her face, kissing her desperate and sweet like long ago.

.-.-.-.

"I can't remember most of it," said Sheppard. "Last thing I recall is McKay and I in the jumpers."

"That was before our escape," said Faith.

She shifted closer in the bed, placing her head on his shoulder. "So you don't recall anything afterward?"

He gazed at her quizzically. "With the fight you mean? No, but we went over it earlier. Why?"

His hand trailed across the side of her hip, stroking thoughtfully. His palm rested on her skin, feeling the fluttering movement in her belly.

"That was when I found out it's a boy."

Sheppard eyed her intently, pushing close as possible to her. "Wonderful. I am relieved nothing happened to him or you…with me there."

"John, it wasn't you."

"Not even born yet, and already getting into trouble."

Faith sighed. "He was getting into trouble with me on missions in r Milky Way too. He takes after both of us."

"Hard to believe what's happened in the past year. You saved my life." "And then you returned mine," said Faith, sighing. "I love you very much." "I love you too, Fae."

He fell silent, pushing the hair from her face. When she smiled at him, his eyes searched hers.

"Now a very important question," he said seriously, causing her to hesitate. Sheppard placed his palm over her abdomen, and grinned. "Will he play basketball or hockey?"

Faith laughed loudly, trying to compose herself. "In that case, we need to discuss diaper duty and where to put the crib."

Sheppard cut her off by seizing her hips and tickling her. When she managed to fend him off, they settled together on the bed. He placed his head next to her, soothing her to sleep.

"Did you think I was going to ask something else?" he whispered.

"Not entirely," she said drowsily. "But a girl can dream."

"In time," he mumbled. "I will."

Faith awoke a short time later, unwillingly taking her leave for the night. She stopped farther down the wing to check on Iwan, finding him sound asleep. Quietly she exited his room, entering the darkness of her own quarters. The bed beckoned invitingly, causing her to shed her clothes for an oversized t-shirt. She sank into her mattress, absorbing the softness and studying the dimness.

"It's alright," she murmured to the intruding figure.

Sláne cautiously approached the bed, a faint glow emitting around him. He sat beside her, careful to avoid physical contact.

"How did you know?"

"Iwan told me you're around, and I feel you nearby sometimes," she said, watching him raise an eyebrow. "We were married for three years."

"Now you love another, and carry his child," he said softly. "You surpassed all my hopes. I could barely see you living six years ago, when you lay dying in my arms."

"That was a lifetime ago. I lost so much, including you. Then I found this."

"I regret our separation the most," said Sláne. "To not be with you or our son."

"He has gone through more than any child should. I want to give him stability, a normal family," she said, drifting off.

"Iwan will never be normal," said Sláne slowly. "He is gifted."

"Because of you or your mother Isha?"

"Me. Most of his abilities he possesses are from my family, not her genetic meddling. One day he and the other Astaians may help harness the complete glory of Atlantis."

"Did you plan this?"

His words struck a deep chord in her consciousness, unseen paths connecting in her mind. She gazed at his pale face, searching for answers. He shook his head, brushing her cheek with his fingers.

"I won't answer that," he said.

"What will you do now?" she asked, biting her lip. "He will never replace you, but John and I intend to raise Iwan together."

"I will rebuild with the Astaians on Onella, but this isn't what I imagined. I hoped on staying with you until the end of our lives."

Sláne kissed Faith's forehead gently, and disappeared in a cascade of light.

.-.-.-.

"GAH!"

Faith's exclamations of pain repeatedly demanded attention, no matter how hard Iwan focused on his Nintendo. He sunk further into the chair, huddling his face against his knees and game system. Lanie patted his back and looked at Faith.

"I can't believe you aren't going to take an epidural. I think you'll change your mind later." "I don't remember the sensations. I want to feel everything," she sighed, shirking in the bed. "You're insane. Watching makes me want to forget I have a uterus."

Rolling her eyes, Faith edged towards Iwan. "He shouldn't be here. This isn't what he should see."

"He had to come along. Andrew is on yet another Project Nemesis plan—"

"Get John," said Faith exasperatedly.

Iwan lifted his head eagerly, nodding repeatedly. He paced towards the infirmary doors, Lanie beginning to call on the radio. Fifteen minutes later, a disheveled Sheppard appeared in the entryway. He urged the boy out, yelling back apologies.

"I'm needed in the gate room, be back later!"

Around the hall corner, Sheppard paused to bend next to Iwan. "I want you to remain calm, and not tell your mother. The ships we sent out on missions—long story short there are Hives ships on their way to Atlantis."

The city shuddered faintly, and an intercom blared across the city. "**All personnel report to duty stations."**

Iwan pointed along the corridor to the infirmary, frowning. "Mom knows."

"Great," exclaimed Sheppard.

Hurrying Iwan in front of him, the pair sprinted to the control tower. They came upon clusters of people in the operations room, congregating before the main screens. Several people ushered the soldier to their side, leaving Iwan peering over the control panels. They turned to Sheppard, appearing grim.

"It's amazing what the prion accomplished," said Woolsey. "We were right about the onset of Wraith extinction."

"I don't care how many we've taken down. The last six pockets were completely crippled, but these Hives were ready the minute we engaged," interrupted Colonel Caldwell. "Daedalus wouldn't have made it back without the Callisto."

McKay threw his hands in the air. "And you managed to lead them back to Atlantis!"

"It was an ambush," said Caldwell, gritting his teeth. "They were only partially crippled!"

"I suggested sending everyone together, but no one listened—"

"Shut up, McKay," said Sheppard. "Four separate pockets are easier to take down. We're lucky the Sun

Tzu and Travelers are already done and coming back."

"If we survive until then."

"We're ready as we'll ever be," said Mr. Woolsey.

Sheppard tapped one of the nearby control panels lightly. "Now McKay, if you're done talking doomsday, I'm going to man the control chair."

"I'm returning to the Daedalus," said Caldwell. "We'll fire from the ground. Atlantis needs all the firepower she can get if the other ships fall."

McKay stared at Sheppard, unspoken reassurance passing between them. The scientist grumbled again, motioning to Mr. Woolsey.

"Let's go over the plan."

Sheppard bent across the control panels, ruffling Iwan's hair. "C'mon buddy, this is going to be rough, but we can do it."

The boy crept around the machine's edge with caution. He led Iwan down the corridors, until they reached the chair room. Orange walls encompassed a wide dais in the center, crowned by a single Ancient control chair.

The soldier looked at the boy sternly. "We will be safe here; it is one of the safest spots. Your mom is not far away. We'll be okay."

The man led him to a corner, indicating to sit. He removed his jacket and folded it carefully on the floor.

"Stay here, no matter what."

Iwan nodded and clutched the uniform eagerly. The man climbed into the Ancient control chair and activated it. The boy gleefully watched the lights and humming, recalling a memory of the sight when he lived on Asta. Sheppard conjured layouts and images, sifting through images of Atlantian battlecruisers and Wraith ships. He called instructions on the radio, becoming wholly engrossed in the ministrations. Fifteen minutes later, the walls began to tremble more violently than earlier.

The floor rattled beneath the boy, chattering his teeth. He braced against the wall, trying to ignore the series of continuous noises. The shaking slowed, but occasionally shuddered. Iwan scrunched the jacket and wedged it beneath his head. He curled into a ball and shielded his ears with arms. Soon he forgot the muffled booms, drifting in and out of consciousness.

Sheppard's voice later woke him, his tone harsh and low. "Of course she's going to have difficulty. Just do something for them, whatever you can."

Iwan bit his tongue, a familiar feeling threatening to return. John and his mother had said everything would be alright. He'd heard those words before, when they carried his father into the house_…bleeding._

_Slánemoaned weakly on the stretcher, no strength left in his body_. A threadbare blanket covered his prone form, leaving an arm exposed at the corner. Faith knelt over him, her hair framing him in long curtains. They gazed into others eyes, hopelessly lost in their thoughts.

"Please don't leave me," she repeated, clutching him tenderly.

"I won't. I will always be with you," murmured Sláne with a softening voice.

Iwan continued to study the red stains on his father's palms, frowning. He grasped it, letting the red material rub onto his skin.

"Where are you going father?" he asked.

Lines crossed Sláne's forehead, and he looked in his son's direction. "I am going to the next place, where we talked about. Iwan, I will always be with you."

Hesitating, Iwan raised a hand over his head. "Here?" "Yes, there." Faith bit her lip, trying to keep tears back. "I love you both," he whispered.

He searched the ceiling, lost in thought elsewhere. A panoply of white light appeared in his place, Sláne's hand disappearing from boy's grasp. _It vanished suddenly, leaving a deep void in the house, and Iwan's heart._

Everything his father promised to him was fulfilled instead by his mother. She taught him to read, tie knots, and throw balls. Sometimes out of the corner of his eye, Iwan would catch sight of him, or feel the presence nearby. Once in a while, he heard words of comfort, all too fleeting. Captain Larson had been kind, but Sheppard gave him knowledge and time, teaching about spaceships, football, slingshots, and more.

His mother knew about other things, and he did not want to lose her. He was too small to heal his father back then, but he could heal now. Iwan rolled into a sitting position, supporting himself awkwardly. Sheppard glanced at him in concern, ignoring the holographic diagrams around him. The radio crackled once more, a new voice interrupting the chattering of McKay.

Dr. Keller near shouted in a breathless voice. "It's a boy! Dr. Stuart is okay. He is okay."

Sheppard's features transformed, catching Iwan's attention. "You have a brother. Your mom is okay."

Iwan leapt to his feet, grinning widely. Sheppard nodded at him in satisfaction, then returned to the holographic display.

"We'll see them when it's over, Iwan."

.-.-.-.

The assault lasted another hour, ending in panoplies of explosions as the final Wraith ship ripped into pieces. The soldier finally stumbled out of the Ancient control chair, having difficulty standing. His limbs trembled in exhaustion, worn with the day's exertions. His expression was haggard, but keen hope in his expression. Iwan put all of his effort into matching Sheppard's strides out of the chair room. The corridors were filled with people, some blocking off sections of the city, or initiating repairs. The infirmary was filled, the entrance nearly impenetrable. Dr. Keller caught sight of them, motioning them to her side. Sheppard turned the boy's head, trying to block out the wounded personnel around them. Iwan tightened his grip on the soldier reassuringly.

"I am okay," he whispered.

Keller led them to the critical care area, where a series of rooms lay off the main corridor.

"I put Dr. Stuart and your son in here," said the doctor. "She needed a C-section. I didn't want to expose them to the injured newcomers."

Faint beeping emanated out of a room, where Faith lay alongside the windows. White sheets enshrined her infirmary bed, tucked firmly around her form. A small cart sat beside the bed, the raised sides protecting a bundle of blankets inside it. Faith brightened considerably, small amounts of color returning

to her cheeks. She outstretched an arm, urging them close. Iwan restrained his enthusiasm, striding quietly with the adults. He peered on tiptoe at the cart, studying the small infant inside. Sheppard approached the bed and rested his hand on the cart. He kissed Faith firmly and gazed downward.

"He's really here," he murmured. A finger traced the infant's curled limbs and the dark hair on his scalp.

Iwan grinned, edging closer. "He is redder than Eranthe's baby. What is his name?"

"We don't have one yet, maybe you can help," said Faith softly.

"Maybe Patrick? replied Iwan. "Like John's dad?"

Both adults studied him curiously, neither speaking. Sheppard lightly gripped the boy's shoulder.

"I like it."

.-.-.-.

_Six months later..._

The edges of the Stargate began to light up, the various patterns locking into place. The wormhole emitted the familiar whoosh, and Chuck affirmed the established connection. Faith's heart beat rapidly at the sight, an eager tension settling in her stomach. A twinge of instinct made her gaze backward, over her shoulder. The brown haired boy still bobbed at the control room's upper deck, fidgeting in anticipation. Andrew waved at her, urging Iwan to do the same. Faith smiled wistfully, feeling the urge to drop her bag and

leave with her family.

"We'll take care of you," said Major Lorne.

He patted her shoulder, then glanced at Lanie and Sergeant Hanson.

The other soldier nodded. "It's good to have you back."

Faith patted the area of her uniform covering her belly. "Good to be here. John's been having all the fun, and I have more baby weight to lose."

"Diaper duty isn't going to kill Andrew," said Lanie. "He's been off world too much anyway."

The shield lowered, allowing their group to approach. Lorne arranged his gun, holding it in position. He walked to the forefront, and nodded at them. They filed through the Stargate, emerging on the other side one by one. Craggy hills spilled across the horizon before them, the edges of the sun emerging over the top.

"Beautiful," breathed Lanie.

"I'll miss this," said Lorne. "I will be stuck on a ship for the next few months."

His teammates looked at him in surprise, ignoring the glowing sunrise.

Lanie frowned. "Why? I thought others would be involved."

Lorne shouldered his weapon, lowering his head. "It's not a bad thing guys. They need a lot of help, and

I'm helping with the Project Nemesis clean-up."

"For all we know, those really were the last active Wraith Hives in existence," said Hanson.

"We're making sure this never happens again," replied Lorne.

Faith raised an eyebrow. "Are they doing more against the Iratus bugs?"

"Nuclear annihilation of any planet with Iratus bug presence, in addition to the removal of the Stargates," said Lorne. "This planet will probably be next if we find them here."

"You're not helping Major," said Hanson. "I just started getting over mission anxiety when we annihilated the Wraith. I'd rather not be reminded we're looking for Iratus inhabited worlds."

"Don't be such a baby."

Lanie pursed her lips, pointing at the suitcases in tow. She unbuckled the latches and lifted the lids. Inside the first case lay a robotic rover encased in protective restraints. The other two contained similar machines, and a reconnaissance drone.

"These will be surveying the planet's caves, not us."

"I'll be back with the Apollo if you find anything," said Lorne.

Their team quickly set-up the surveillance equipment, working in efficient tandem. The sky changed to azure blue as the day lengthened around them. Faith felt much of her anxiety slip away, the focus of the work driving away her preoccupations about active duty. Work, travel, discovery, it provided a broadening of her knowledge and life's motivation she rarely found elsewhere except in her children.

She felt the lumpy clay pendant hanging down under her jacket, Iwan's birthday present to her last month.

It weight shifted as she leaned up, stretching her spine and observing their progress. The drone perched on its launcher between the rovers, waiting like a hawk for flight. Everyone retreated behind the DHD to a safe distance, while Lanie and Lorne looked over the launch device.

The Stargate gleamed dully in the morning sunlight, catching Faith's attention. She turned to it for a moment, admiring the complexity of it. A whoosh sounded loud in their ears, and she turned around. The drone sped into the air, soaring into the air. The rovers followed on command, disappearing into yet another world beyond the Stargate.

.-.-.-.

**Epilogue**

_Ten years later..._

The waves shimmered blue in the sunlight, echoing their roar as they rolled toward shore. The sand slushed over her feet with each step, her stride sure and long. The strong arm around her waist squeezed gently, and John gestured his head.

"Look at that, he finally caught a wave," he said, smirking.

Enthusiastically he motioned to the water beyond the beach. Iwan paddled a surf board horizontally to the sand, his attention fixed nearby. A lanky boy with dark hair awkwardly balanced on a similar board, gliding it over a second wave.

"Nice!" yelled Sheppard to the boy.

Their son waved at them, the momentum of his arm sending him tumbling into the ocean. Faith sighed in amusement, and commanded Iwan to help him out of the water. The boys pulled their boards up to the beach, and buried them upright in the sand. Iwan reached the adults first, his long legs taking him effortlessly across the distance. The younger boy scrambled to catch up, gulping in lungfuls of air.

"I did it Dad!" the younger boy gasped, smiling eagerly at the man.

"You earned an ice cream," said Faith. She smiled at him, and brushed a red patch on his shoulder. "You need more sunscreen sweetie."

"A freckle isn't going to kill him," said Sheppard. He freed Faith from his grasp, and pointed at the shops opposite the beach. "You guys ready for dinner?"

Patrick nodded. "I want a cheeseburger."

"I'll meet up with you afterward," said Iwan, his mouth tightening. Faith tilted her face inquisitively, making him tense up. "Why?" "You have a date?" asked Sheppard, grinning.

"We come to visit you from another galaxy, and you run around with that Jill the whole time," said Faith, rolling her eyes.

"Jane," said Iwan, smirking. "Just for an hour? I promised her before you got here."

"Ok fine. So when's the wedding?" asked Faith evilly, patting his back. "If you don't watch it with all these girls, I'm going to end up with tons of grandchildren."

"Shush," said Sheppard. "I forbid you to use that word. You're still young enough to pop another one out."

She gave him a withering glare, making the boys burst into laughter. "I think these two and Andrew's four are enough of a handful."

"RACE!" suddenly yelled Patrick.

The boys took off past them, sprinting away to the boardwalk. The adults followed at snail pace, clutching each other's hands again. Sheppard squeezed her palm, gazing into the distance at the boys.

"He'll come back to Atlantis soon, Fae," he said. "He's only got another year of college left."

"For a bachelor's degree," said Faith. "I want him to go far as he can, even if he misses flying the puddlejumpers."

Iwan crossed the threshold of the boardwalk first, and raised the boy in triumph onto his back. He clambered troubledly along, causing his younger brother to squeal in delight. Faith felt a surge of warmth at watching them, pride and joy intermingling. Sheppard lifted her hand to his lips, kissing the skin next to her ring. They left the beachside together, as a family.

**The End**

* * *

**End A/N: **At last this sequel comes to an end, and so has my venture into Stargate Atlantis fanfiction. My favorite characteristic of the show was the ability to continuously expand outward, especially with plot elements and endless individuals. I believe it was a very strong part of Stargate Atlantis' appeal, and the entire series. This inspired me to spin within the frame of the storylines and create my own expansion (fanfiction). I never seek to overwrite the stories themselves, or it indicates I never truly accepted the original (including admiring and respecting them). My series certainly ran onto another tangent, but explored the extended possibilities of this universe. My story is a little shorter than I expected, and yet conveys the plot I set to fulfill. I do not regret focusing on a third party characters versus the originals.

Which of us fans did not imagine stepping through the Stargate with the characters? I am still disappointed at the Stargate franchises' permanent closure. However, seeing other series resurrected later gives me hope for this universe, though it may take another lifetime.

Atlantis will rise again.

_Dedicated to my friend Katy (and her two little guys) for showing me the joy of new life._


End file.
